judge and jury

^{Matthew 7:1-2}

¹“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ² For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Never used to “get” these verses. Never. And by saying that, what I mean is that I didn’t understand what the heck they were talking about.

But now? Oh yea, I get them all right—maybe a little too well. 

You see, I am a recovering hypercritical person—a fault-finding junkie. It’s something I’ve struggled with my entire life. In the past, my attitude went something like this; if a certain person didn’t meet “my standards” for living, then I figured there was something wrong with them. It didn’t matter whether they deserved my condemnation or not, I judged them anyway. 

A few years back, I stumbled across these verses from Matthew Seven—words spoken by Jesus when he gave his Sermon on the Mount. When I read them, I was fascinated. First of all, because I was starting to get what Jesus was saying, and, secondly, because I realized that in the same way I was judging others my own heart was condemning me.

^2 “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Ironically, while I was busy judging others, I was accusing myself. Whatever I saw wrong in another, I became hyper-aware that it was wrong with me, too. Waves of guilt crashed against my soul again and again. It was like I was receiving the same amount of judgment I was doling out. I held the measuring stick for what a “good” person does. The problem is that while I held that measuring stick, I realized that I wasn’t meeting the mark either. And deep inside my soul I knew it.

³ “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵  You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.'

The word picture of a speck compared to a log stayed with me and I finally understood how these verses applied to me. I started to “get” them. 

Jesus understood this notion of judging and being judged. That’s why he tucked these words away in the middle of one of his most famous sermons. These words are golden and ones that we all need to heed.

Do you see it, too? The irony of believing that you’re right and everyone else is wrong? Trust me I’ve been there. That’s why I call myself a recovering junkie when it comes to being someone else’s judge and jury. 

I’ve learned that I have no right to judge anyone. I really don’t. Neither do you. When you find yourself focusing on others’ shortcomings, are you missing the “plank” in your own eye?

Though I can’t say I’ve mastered it, I’ve learned that taking care of the plank in my own eye helps me see others a bit more clearly. 

After all, if you think a speck of saw dust in your eye hurts, imagine how much more painful a plank would be. It’s time to take those planks out so we can stop condemning each other and start loving our neighbor as much as we love ourselves.

your self-worth = your performance + other's opinions about you

Ironically, last night I thought of two great subjects for this week’s blog post, but do you think I can remember either of them this morning. Absolutely not. I need to learn to write my ideas down before they fly away, and I’m left without a single thing to write about. Well, I must carry on. This one’s gonna be a shot in the dark, people. Bear with me, I’m sure it’ll go somewhere good in the end. At least I hope so.

Ahhaa, just as I was writing the above, one of the ideas flew back into my head. I’m learning that it pays to write random thoughts until my brain can finally grasp onto something that might be worth sharing.

The Search for Significance. It’s a book, written by Robert S. McGee. I have only read this book twice in my lifetime, but it has changed my viewpoint drastically. This is a book that was recommended to me by a counselor I met with shortly after I had been diagnosed. Ten years later, I find myself re-reading it, realizing it’s as applicable for me today as it was back then.  

While he didn’t know it at the time, this counselor was giving me the assignment of a lifetime. It was exactly what I needed to learn.

You see, after reading this book I realized that there was a certain lie I had believed for most of my life. A lie that made me miserable in so many ways:

My Self-worth = My performance + Others’ Opinions [About Me]

At first glance, it may seem like an inconsequential equation, maybe even nonsense. But if you’re anything like me you come to realize that this statement rings with a whole lot of deceit.

One of the topics I had discussed with my counselor was my propensity to base my self-worth on my performance and others’ opinions about me. When my counselor released me from meeting with him, he encouraged me to read Search. At the time the book’s subject was exactly what I needed to hear. And ten years later, I must confess, its lessons are just as valuable today.

When McGee writes about this topic of building our self worth on the approval of others or on our performance, he demonstrates that we’re missing the whole point of our existence. 

We are not valuable because of others’ good opinions. Nor are we valuable because we perform well. Our true value is based on what God says about us. We are His prized possession, so precious to Him that He would sacrifice everything; even the Son He loved most, to bring us back to Him.  

Does this nonsensical equation consume your thoughts as much as they did mine?

Your self-worth = your performance + others’ opinions [about you].

Stop believing it. This lie will have you chasing your tail the rest of your days leaving you exhausted and hopeless. Throw off this lie that your self-worth = your performance + others’ opinions [about you]. It’s a formula for disaster. It will never leave you satisfied. 

To quote from McGee’s book, “Our value is not dependent on our ability to earn the fickle acceptance of people, but rather, its true source is the love and acceptance of God. He created us. He alone knows how to fulfill all of our needs.”

 

Amen, to that brother. Amen to that.

https://www.google.com/#q=search+for+significance