please, don't be crazy

In light of the tragedy in a Colorado movie theater and the recent news story about Jared Lee Loughner, the man who shot congresswoman, Gabby Giffords, injured twelve others, and killed six, I feel that there is an issue, an ensuing crisis in our country that needs to be addressed. I believe it’s a crisis of magnificent proportions and, unless we take action now, all signs indicate that this crisis is only going to get worse. My views on these recent shootings may not be popular but here goes.

 The event that spurred me to write this entry was the court proceedings that took place this past week in which Loughner appeared before a judge and pleaded guilty to nineteen of the forty-nine crimes he was charged with. For the most part this decision was favorably received because it meant that the victims and their families would be spared an agonizing trial. Gabby Giffords and her husband, Mark Kelly, said in a statement that , "[they] were satisfied with the proposed plea agreement.”

 This hearing was much different than the one that took place in May, 2011. On that day, Loughner was removed from court after an outburst in which the Arizona Republic quoted him as saying, “Thank you for the free kill. She died in front of me. Your cheesiness.” At this point Loughner still believed he had killed Giffords.

But on this August day, 2012 the Judge presiding, Larry A. Burns had this to say about the change in Loughner’s manner and presence, “He is a different person in his appearance and his effect than when I first laid eyes on him.”

 Clearly something had changed. The federal psychologist appointed to this case, Dr. Christina Pietz, commented on these changes. “Loughner is severely mentally ill, one of the worst I’ve treated. But I believe he can function in the general population.” What was the change?  Medication. In fact, Loughner’s treatment was stopped at one point to ensure that he was not being forcibly medicated. But after another incident in July 2011, prison officials decided to require the medication again. This time the 9^th circuit court upheld the decision to medicate him.

 Pietz saw Loughner nearly every day and described the changes that had taken place, “At first he thought he had killed Giffords. However, after time, Loughner began to express remorse.” ‘I especially cried about the child,’  Pietz quoted him as saying about Christina-Taylor Green. Loughner told Pietz that he “deserved the death penalty and that he realized the consequences of his actions.”

 There were signs that Loughner struggled with mental illness long before the shooting incident. Based on his journal, Pietz concluded that he had shown signs of depression since 2006 and may have developed symptoms of schizophrenia in his junior year of high school. Classmates at Pima Community College described him as a strange and eccentric student; professors spoke of his “disorganized thought process,” Dr. Pietz said.

 The NY Times reported that Loughner’s parents testified that at one point he asked them if they could hear the same voices he had been hearing. In written answers to her questions, his parents told Pietz they were worried he would kill himself. In videos he made, Mr. Loughner said that, he, “felt depressed, and that he had the urge to kill someone.”

 Clearly, Loughner was struggling with both schizophrenia and depression, but once he began a treatment, he was a completely different person. You may be thinking that all I’m doing in this entry is defending a horrible monster. In actuality, I’m not. I’m remembering those who were victims of his rampage.

 You see, I was a person who was capable of doing horrific things in a state of undiagnosis. I've shared often that pre-diagnosis I frequently considered suicide, but that's not the whole story. The night I was hospitalized I went psychotic and, in that state, who knows what I might have done. But for the grace of God maybe that jail cell could have been mine.

 Which leads me to a question. Why do you suppose so many people who commit crimes of this magnitude are known to have struggled with some form of mental illness? It’s not coincidence, folks. It’s a pattern; one that’s occurring all too often. Locking the mentally ill up after the crime has been committed may be a short-term solution, but in the long run wouldn’t it be better to get these people help before it’s too late. Randy Gardner, who was one of Loughner’s victims decried the lack of mental-health care for people like Loughner saying, “We really have to be our brother’s keeper here and reach out and get them help.”

 I couldn’t agree more. I believe that many crimes such as these are preventable. I can say this with confidence because medication has literally saved my life. Much like Judge Burns described Loughner as being “a different person,” that is how I feel about myself. For me going off meds isn't even an option. I know what my life was like before I took them. It was awful, horrible, a dark place that I NEVER want to go back to.

 Here’s the deal, folks; mental illness is real. It is ugly. And, unless it’s dealt with beforehand, it can be lethal. In the end it’s about being our brother’s keeper; getting help for the mentally ill, but it’s also about ensuring that there will be no more innocent victims like Christina-Taylor Green.