Love and Marriage

Just got back from a wedding which the whole family attended. At first, we were reluctant to take the kids along, but the bride had specifically requested that we bring them. Obviously, she had no idea how naughty our kids can be in any type of church situation. But, because she was the bride, we obliged.

I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the kids were very good for most of the service. Towards the end though there came the dreaded, yet inevitable question “Is it over yet?” And countless times we had to pretend it was “nearly” over so they would hold it together for just a “few more minutes”. Yea, good thing God’s not vengeful. If He was we would surely have been blasted for the number of times we lied about the service being “almost over”. We could use a few new lies to pacify our children. Our old-stand-bys are getting boring. You know the ones, “It’s just about over.” “Be patient a little longer” or “After this song.” My personal favorite is, “If you can sit still just awhile longer, you’ll get to have some cake.” I mean, who can’t be appeased by the promise of cake.

Reception time, now that was a different story. The kids were all over that. After all what’s not to love about a wedding reception; Hors d'oeuvres, drinks, punch, cake, party favors. This was the kids’ first experience of a wedding reception and they were in heaven. My daughter stood in the aisle between tables and danced and danced. There wasn’t any music but that didn’t bother Katie. She had a little ribbon and she was spinning around like a tiny ballerina. So cute. The highlight for her was making a new friend – a girl who was a whole year older than she was. When I walked them both back to the food table, I asked Katie if she needed anything. When she said “No,” I told her that I was going to sit back down. That’s when her new friend piped up, “It’s okay I can take care of her.” Yea, I’m sure you can you pint-sized little cutie.

Jack, for his part, was playing it cool. All dressed up in his purple and white plaid shirt, he was scoping out the scene, checking out all the ladies, just hanging. He did get a little excited when his dad allowed him to “ding” the glass to make the bride and groom kiss. When they actually did kiss, his eyes got really big. He couldn’t believe that they would smooch just because he dinged his fork on a glass. Of course, we had to cut him off after the fourth or fifth time of dinging. The bride and groom thanked us profusely.

I’m pretty sure Katie licked the frosting off the cake when no one was looking, and when Jack started to get a little too friendly with the ladies, we decided it was time to go home. No dance party for the Meyers that night. But in all, a good time was had by everyone. 

On the way home, I started thinking about something. Sitting in the ceremony when they got to the vows, my hubby and I had cuddled up a bit closer and held hands. Watching the bride and groom made us remember the days when we were giddy in love. And here we are ten years later when it’s a bit harder to capture the magic of being a newlywed.

I guess what I walked away from the wedding with was a question; Where does all the love go after the ceremony? When does your spouse become just another being in the house? It’s kind of easy to forgo the romance when you’re up to your armpits in laundry, spinning circles in the kitchen, running interception on tiny warriors who are tackling each other.

Let’s face it. Life is crazy. And the last thing you want to do when you get home from work is paste a smile on your face and try to be nice to one more person. It’s a chore to please people all day, be polite, put on a happy face. So when you get home, you just want to be real. Family’s just family. We can be genuine with them, right? Honest. Downright rude if we want to be. I have a good friend who calls it “treating each other like family.” Don’t know if you get the drift, but there’s a lot of truth to that statement. How’s that saying go, “You always hurt the ones you love.” Maybe it should be, “You always hurt the ones you pretend to love, when the ones you’re really giving your best to don’t even live under your roof”.

The next time you’re tempted to treat your spouse like family, go back to your vows - the ones when you said you were in it for keeps. Remind yourself why you married the person who sits across from you at the kitchen table. Do something spontaneous for them. Remember that marriage is a gift. Try to love them a little bit better and stop treating them like just “plain old family”.