Regret. Yes, that’s what I was supposed to be writing about this week. Funny thing, I actually had to look back at my first blog about “the big three” to remember what the third one on the list was. Kind of regret that. Yes, that was my lame attempt at cracking a joke. Hope you don’t regret reading this. Okay, I’ve really got to stop and get to the serious stuff.

Regret, there it is. The last of “the big three”. When I look back on my life, there are a lot of things I regret. The big one that comes to mind is adopting my husband’s sense of humor. But there are plenty of others, so, I thought I’d make a top ten list of my biggest regrets in life.

My Top Ten Regrets

10. Buying glasses in the third grade that matched Estelle Getty’s from the show “The Golden Girls”.

9. Letting my husband see pictures of me wearing those glasses.

8. T.P,’ ing my high school science teacher’s front yard. Yup, got caught. By the police.

7. Skipping, for the first time ever, my last period of the day and running into my mom when I was filling my car up with gas.

6. Trying to fry a steak in my college roommate’s brand new skillet. (Still feel bad about that one.)

5. Letting the dog sleep on our bed.

4. Letting the dog sleep on our bed. I so strongly regret this one that I had to list it twice.

3. Introducing my kids to the cartoon, Wow Wow Wubbzy. seriously. regret. that.

2. Buying the little black dress that fell apart when I tried to wash it. (Hmmm, maybe I wasn’t supposed to wash it.)

And the number one biggest regret in my life . . .

1. Spending too much time regretting my decisions.

So, I guess there should be some gravity to this silly post. What do we do when we’ve made a mistake that we regret? Since I dogged him at the beginning of this post, I’ll make it up to my husband. Bad humor or not, he does give some pretty good advice.

Shortly before we got married, I made a mistake. Though I don’t even recall what I was stewing about, I distinctly remember the advice that my, then fiancé, gave to me. Don’t look back. Learn from your mistake and keep going forward. I don’t know why, but that day, the advice he gave kind of set me free. He was right. I didn’t need to regret the past; I just needed to learn from it. When you think about it, regret is a little bit like guilt. It’s a feeling, a fear, that just holds us back. So, learn from your mistakes and keep moving on. Best advice I ever got from a man whose sense of humor is questionable, but whose advice is always sound.

 

Neither go back in fear and misgiving to the past, nor in anxiety and forecasting to the future. But lie quiet under [God’s] hand having no will but His. ~ C.S. Lewis

a simple cinquain

I wrote this four or five years ago when I was playing around with different types of poetry. It's pretty short which is a change for me, but there is a deeper meaning in there if you take time to read it. Hope that on some level it speaks to you about the changes in life and how they affect us. 

 

 

Gold Leaves

Crackling Brightly

Dancing in the sunshine

Gusts of wind

Playfully tease them

I laugh.

 

Gold Leaves

Perch precarious

Hanging by golden threads

A sharp stinging wind snaps them off

I shudder.

 

Gold Leaves

Fluttering down

Floating down around me

A parade of gold confetti

I smile.

 

Gold leaves

Shuffling along

Crunching beneath my toes

All their glory now is fading

I sigh. 

crazy bunny trails

So mom's settled in her new home.  Although it's not what she's used to, she did admit to me one day that she understands now why she had to make the move.  But why did she wait so long to move to this place; a place she would have enjoyed so much better when she was healthier.  Well, you can chalk it up to one thing  - stubborness.  And the only reason I can say that is because the stubborn gene lies dormant in my heart as well.  It comes out and rears its ugly head now and again, and, when it does, my husband gleefully points out that I'm 'being just as hard headed as the rest of my family.'  Boy, I hate it when he's right.

Stubborness does have its bad points I will admit.  Holding on tightly, clinging to the way life is now.  Resisting the change that might make all the difference in the world - that might, if you let it, actually be a good thing - even a great thing in your life. 

I HATE change.  My resistance to it is demonstrated in many ways.   I always order the same drink when I go to Starbucks - tall caramel machiatto - decaff, with whip cream on top.  When I see a seasonal drink like a pumpkin spice latte, I don't even bat an eye.  Why mess with a good thing?    I shop at the same grocery store every week -  weaving the same path in and out of the aisles;  vegetables at the front, bread and cereal in the middle, ice cream at the very back.  In fact, when the store makes changes, I get a bit miffed.  Don't mess with my routine - you might regret it.

My husband is so the opposite of me.  Sometimes it frustrates me when he decides to take a shortcut through a neighborhood - a deviation from the same walking trail I follow every day, or when he takes a different route home from church.  'What are you doing?' I ask, 'This isn't the way home?'  On more than one occassion, I've had the humbling experience of realizing that life doesn't always have to follow my "normal".  Changing things up a bit can be kinda fun, and, sometimes, even necessary.

After my husband began his new job, we started looking at houses that would be closer to his workplace.  In fact, we began thinking about building a new home.  So, one weekend we met with a realtor to begin the process.  He had an estimate all laid out for us, we talked about features we wanted, and discussed the  costs involved.  We were on the verge of signing a deal.  But, for some reason, we decided not to do it that day.  After we'd met with the guy, my husband mentioned that he wanted to look at some existing houses. 

On the drive over, I made the comment that I wished he would 'stop taking us on all these little bunny trails.'  We'd made our decision, right?  Why change things up now?  Well, I choked on every word when we stepped into the house that was to become ours.  We fell in love with it on the spot - both of us.  And let me tell you, my husband did not hesitate to point out that following this bunny trail hadn't been such a bad idea.

So sometimes, I guess, change is a good thing.  And maybe following those bunny trails every once in awhile is good for me.  I do hafta admit that it gets boring ordering the same drink, walking the same trail, shopping at the same store week after week.  Sometimes, things gotta get mixed up.  So, I'll try a different latte next week.  And maybe I'll deviate from my walking trail every few days.  I might even dare to go to a new grocery store this week.  Who knows, I might find myself enjoying the change of scenery.   Darn, bunny trails . . .

Ecc 3:11 [God] has made everything (even change)  beautiful in its time.