a sabbatical of sorts

²sabbatical

noun
3
: a break or change from a normal routine (as of employment)

 

Now that my years of being a stay-at-home mom are coming to an end, I’ve been reflecting on them a bit more. Next year, my baby, my Katie, will be going to kindergarten. I will miss her, but there is a part of me that is very excited as this new chapter in my life begins. But, as I look forward to the future, I’m also glancing back at the past. What’s come across my thoughts most is that these eight years have been a sabbatical of sorts. Now, don’t get me wrong. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t crazy busy and that it wasn’t hard, but it was a different kind of busy, a different kind of hard. A hard that helped shape the way I think about life.

 

We’re all so busy, aren’t we? Life is so helter-skelter these days, like a merry-go-round that never stops. Running here, rushing there. Laundry, shopping crammed into the week-end. Skipping from the soccer game to the baseball field. So. Many.Things. vie for our attention day after day. But being a stay-at-home mom I was able to step back from all of that. It was a gift to be still and silent, set apart from all the craziness that is life.  I gained some perspective. I learned what was important in life and what was “small potatoes.”

 

~Dull women have immaculate homes.

 

I didn’t come up with this quote, though I wish I had. No, my mother-in-law’s neighbor did. An elderly woman gave this to my mom-in-law at a time when it was much needed. It was as if she were looking back on her life and sharing the wisdom she had gained. I have to admit that when I first read these words I was offended. What did that mean; dull women have immaculate homes. I kept my house immaculate. Did that make me dull?

 

But now, I get it. I understand the good sense behind those words. In fact, when I step over piles of toys, or stare at dust inches thick, these words are like balm to my soul.  Through all the stages of life things get messy as babies grow into toddlers, and toddlers grow into preschoolers. Being a stay-at-home mom is anything but dull.

 

In my early years of staying at home, I really struggled. As a teacher, I was used to being on my feet all day. I had purpose oozing out of my pores. I knew my position in life. What my calling was. What I was meant to be.

 

Then, along came Jack, our first, sweet baby. Now, my days were full, but they were full of seemingly insignificant things; diaper changes, bottle feedings, late nights rocking him to sleep. And I have to admit, I was bored. I’d lived my life in the limelight, so to speak. Now, the only one watching me during the day was my dog--who wasn’t very helpful in the conversation realm of things. All of this made me wonder, what was my purpose now?

 

Looking back, however, these days were some of the sweetest of my life. I got to be out of the hustle and bustle that is part of our world these days. Slowing down. Cherishing moments. Savoring the present. Sure, being a stay-at-home mom was no picnic, but there was a great sense of satisfaction in raising two children, and as they got older it just became more fun.

 

Now that I’m moving forward into the future, I feel like I’ve learned to breathe again. I feel rested. I feel rejuvenated. I’m ready to move into the next chapter of my life. My sabbatical, all eight years of it, were such a blessing to me, and I’m so thankful to God for them.

 

I hope that you, too, get to experience a type of sabbatical, even if it’s just a moment of quiet in the midst of a hectic day. The days of having children are too precious to wish away. Enjoy them. Savor them. Because, before you know it, they will be gone.