crazy safe

¹safe

adjective \ˈsāf\

: not able or likely to be hurt or harmed in any way : not in danger

Have you ever had a dream that was so sweet you didn’t want to wake up, and when you did wake up for the briefest of moments you experienced an inexplicable joy; peace filled your heart; and all was right with the world. 

In these dreams I’m usually with a person. No one definable or recognizable, just a person and with this person I feel perfect peace like they know me from the inside out and love me—just love me.

Lately I’ve been thinking about these sweet dreams and contemplating their meaning. Why is it I feel so safe in these dreams; and is it possible to feel this way in “real life”?

Ephesians 3:17 And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is.  (NLT)

You know what I’ve figured out in the past week or so? I am safe with Jesus. I know that sounds weird and like something I should have always felt. But it’s a different kind of safe than I expected.

It isn’t so much that I trust his power, or his greatness or even his love for me. All important things for sure, but the safety I’m truly talking about is the safety to be me, warts and all. Like Jesus knows me from the inside out. 

You see for a long time, I fooled myself into thinking that Jesus couldn’t see the darkest parts of my heart—like I had  these secret corners where I stuffed everything I was ever ashamed of in a place where he would never find them. 

But the only one I was fooling was me. Stuffing all of my “dirty laundry” in these dark corners never really made me safe. It was kinda like I cleaned house before Jesus showed up for dinner. But the truth of the matter is that what I thought was safety was only a counterfeit for the real deal.

^{Hebrews 4:15-16} Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

I don’t know about you but when I feel guilty over something I’ve done, the last place I want to go is God’s throne—even if it is a throne of grace. And in his throne room the last thing I feel is safe. But I think that’s a mistake on my part, a big mistake. 

Sin doesn’t scare God. He’s not afraid of it; He doesn’t try to pretend it’s not there. Sin is what it is and God’s dealt with it on a cross. I think rather than running away and hiding from Him, God wants us to come boldly to his throne of grace and hide in him.

So lately, I’ve been trying something different; truth and honesty. Not just with myself, but with God. Leaving those corners of my heart that I hide from everyone else, open—refusing to play hide and seek anymore. 

Honesty with God has been like balm to my aching soul, because it’s in sincerity, that I’ve found a “safe” I never experienced before. It’s like the happiest of my dreams only this one never ends.

¹safe

adjective \ˈsāf\

: not able or likely to be hurt or harmed in any way : not in danger