Tough Times

 . . . it is very well worthwhile to be tormented for two or three years of one’s life, for the sake of being able to read all the rest of it. ~Jane Austen

 

Tormented. Strong word, huh? Tormented. I don’t know about you, but there have been times in my life when that is exactly how I’ve felt; tormented. During those times God seemed to be in a land far, far away while I was left wandering in the desert, desperately searching for an oasis.

Pre-diagnosis days were truly tormenting. While I was stumbling through the darkness, I happened upon the above quote from Jane Austen. Her wording captured how I felt then and what I’ve learned about myself now. Though I hated the tough times, there were so many good things that came from them. 

When you’re suffering and God seems far off, it feels as though He doesn’t care, not one little bit. But I want to encourage you today to look at suffering a little bit differently, reflecting on what is really going on. 

Hebrews 12:10-11 For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always right and good for us because it means we will share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it is painful! But afterward there will be a quiet harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way. (NLT) 

Those last two sentences truly said everything my thirsting soul needed to hear at the time. I clung to them like a drowning man grasping on to a life preserver. 

In this excerpt from Pools, I reflect back on how the worst times of my life were actually the most productive: 

“Basically it comes down to this. I am thankful that I am bipolar. No, you don’t need to get reading glasses, you read it correctly, I’m thankful to be bipolar. There are so many good things that have happened in my life as a result of this illness. A lot of it has been character development, learning to be hopeful, patient, humble, kind. All of these things are learned best, I believe, in the crucible of life, in the ‘Valley of Weeping.’” 

  

A week ago or so, we were meeting with our small group when this whole concept of trials came up. Many of us agreed that, though we hate them, the periods in our lives when our suffering has been most keen are the times we have clung to God and His Word like never before.

It’s in the good times that’s it’s easy to forget about God. So rejoice that you are struggling. God is doing a great work in your heart—a work that is making you, not only who you want to be, but, more importantly, who He wants you to be.