cuddles vs. calendars

I am a checklist junkie. I love to make a list and follow it to a T. It’s so fun to get out a pen and make a big ol’ checkmark each time I accomplish something on my list. For me, it’s an almost euphoric experience—one that brings me great satisfaction.

Lately, though, I’ve been rethinking this whole checklist thing. Not that I’m going to get rid of them. No, I love them way too much for that. But sometimes I wonder if in the midst of checking off my daily duties, I forget something that probably should have been at the top of my list—spending time with my family.

Take for example, my husband. When he’s at work, I think about calling him several times a day wanting to share this or that moment with him, or just say hi and tell him I love him. But the moment my husband gets home from work, he turns into the invisible man. After all, I’ve got a checklist to follow and, guess what, he’s not on it. 

I think about my kids in this light, too. They are growing up way too fast. It seems like if I blink I miss something. These changes remind me that there won’t always be a little girl who wants to play ponies with her mommy or a little boy who wants to cuddle before he falls asleep. 

You see, I think back to when my kids were babies and a sense of regret rises up. I had checklists back then, too. And quite frankly, I followed them a little too religiously. In the midst of making lists and checking them twice, I missed things, important things.

Yes, I accomplished a great deal by staying the course and finishing my duties, but I look back now and feel like I cheated myself out of something precious, cuddling time—holding my babies close to my heart as much as I could. Yea, I sure wish I could have a do-over when it comes to those baby days.

But since regret’s never done me any good, I’m trying a different approach. No, I can’t go back and fix my mistakes, but I can learn from them. 

When my hubby walks through that door, I make an effort to greet him with a hug and a kiss, letting him know how glad I am that he’s home. And even if it’s only for the briefest of moments, we fill each other in on our days. The conversations can be short, but that’s okay. What matters is that I set my checklist aside and concentrate on what’s really important.

When my baby girl asks me to play ponies, I make an effort to drop what I’m doing and play pretend.  Though I can’t say playing ponies is one of my favorite things to do, I know it’s important to her. So in spite of my bad attitude, I make a sincere effort to get my pony groove on and just take time to have fun.

Yesterday, I sat down and told my son story after story about when I was little. He absolutely loves it when I share anecdotes from my past. Just as I finish up with one, he begs for another.

When I was done telling stories, our conversation turned to heavenly things. I asked him if he thought we’d be wrinkly and old in heaven. His response was pretty profound. “Mom,” he said, “I think we will be mature in heaven, but we won’t look old.”

Our discussion continued on much the same vein when I asked how he thought we’ll feel when we get to heaven. My wise eight-year-old’s response; “I think we’ll be tired and worn out, but Jesus will make us feel better.” 

Just think, if all I’d done yesterday was make myself a slave to that checklist, I’d have missed out on a pretty special conversation.

Call it making an investment. Investing in my relationships knowing that what I have now won’t last forever. In the midst of all I have to do in a day, I’m going to remember that sometimes the things that aren’t on my checklist, are the most important things I’ll do all day.

No, I’ll never get rid of my checklists. After all, they do give structure and order to my day. But now when I have the opportunity, I’ll let the truly important things override all of the others, making my lists look a little more like this:

Give my husband and kids hugs and kisses before they head out the door—check.

And a little less like this:

Finish my latest blog post—check.