Lord, could you move a little faster – pretty please?

Instill – to introduce by gradual instruction, to pour in slowly by drops.

Do you have a destination in mind? I mean is there a place in your life you want to be? A status you desire; mom, husband, girlfriend, fiancé, dad? Is there a happily ever after you haven’t attained and, for the life of you, you can’t figure out why. Well, I know it’s horribly overused, but yes, I’ll say it anyway – the grass isn’t always greener. Don’t you hate it when people tell you that? It’s okay. Go on and despise me if you will. I still have something to say, or rather, write.

My first experiences of longing for greener pastures came during my childhood. I don’t know about you, but for me growing up took way too long. I wanted to be just a little bit taller or faster. I wanted a boyfriend, wanted to drive a car. When would I ever be able to make my own decisions and gain access to the freedoms that grown-ups had?

When I was in college it was another desire that nearly drove me crazy. I was single. I wanted a boyfriend. Why couldn’t I date the person that I wanted when I wanted? Then at the ripe old age of twenty-two I decided it was time to meet my future husband. Did you catch that? I decided. It was time. So where was he, my husband-to-be? It hurt to be alone. I longed to have someone who would cheer me up or cuddle with me when I was sad. I wanted to be married, darn it, and God just wasn’t moving fast enough.

But right around the age of twenty-six – the age I thought I would be married by, something occurred to me. The startling revelation? I would never get the chance to be single again. Never. Ever. Why not enjoy it while it lasted? So I did, for the most part. Don’t get me wrong, I pined and whined at times for that special person to come into my life. But God was teaching me a valuable lesson even then – don’t wish your life away. After all, I lived in a beautiful home with four other women, and we were having a blast. The décor was mid 70’s right down to the green shag carpet and orange countertops. We didn’t care. It was our home – perfect for the five of us, and we were reveling in it.

Fast forward about three years when my future hubby came into my life. He was perfect for me – such a joy and blessing. I couldn’t have asked for better. What’s more, now that I’d gloried in my single years, I was ready to be married. I didn’t have regrets, didn’t experience any “what ifs”. God had brought the perfect guy into my life at the perfect time, and it was, well, perfect.

Two years later, little Jack entered into our lives. How easy it would have been to long for the late night feedings, and the crying, and the changing of diapers to be over. Done. Finito. But God in his wisdom had prepared me for these years, too. Once again, I realized something very important. My child would never be this age again. I would never get to cuddle him, or hold him, or play peek-a-boo with him like I could now. I was reminded that each day with him was priceless – a gift to be treasured.

Fast forward a few years later  - aaah the joys of potty training. Yea, I could have skipped right over that stage. But, hold on, was there a lesson that God was trying to teach me even then? Teaching me in a way that couldn’t be rushed. Did God have a plan for even potty training? Maybe. He cares about every detail of our lives after all. So yes, I suppose there were lessons to be learned even in the baptismal fires of potty-training.

Instill. Love the word.  Love it. It was a word that I stumbled across when I was a new college graduate. I think the reason I liked it so much was because it made sense to me. As a teacher, I longed to instill lessons in my students’ lives. And, as any good teacher will tell you, the lessons your students really grasp are the ones you teach them over and over again, drop by drop.

So why should God do anything less? The lessons he wants us to learn can only be instilled drop by drop. Yes, sometimes the process seems painstakingly slow, but we can trust the Lord, the one who is doing the instilling.

I want a God who will keep me growing in the right direction. I want to know that the lessons he’s teaching me will last even into eternity. Waiting is no fun. It’s hard - no getting around that. But, in the midst of the delay remember something – God is not punishing you, nor is he slow to act. He’s just a really good tutor.