A Mockingbird

Psalm 139:13-14 For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, and I know that full well. 

I’m pretty good at bird calls.  I make a mean goose call, and you should hear my whippoorwill song.  I can screech with the best of the hawks, and my owl hoot?  Well, don’t even get me started.   Confession time -  everything I’ve written up to this point has not exactly been true.  Oh, who am I kidding, it’s all a lie.  But, I’m trying to make a point here, so stick with me for a few moments. 

When I say I’m good at bird calls, I’m really not.  But, what I am good at is imitating people.  No, I’m not talking about the Saturday Night Live type of caricatures, but another kind that’s not so healthy.  Let me start with an example.  In high school, I sang in both the choir and show choir for three years.  My second year I was voted most valuable junior.  This was all great, but there was something going on that wasn’t so great.  The problem?  I could make my voice sound like anyone else’s.  When I’d sing, I’d pick a voice around me and sing in just that way; same tone, pitch, timing etc.  I was so busy trying to copy someone else’s voice that I never figured out what my own was.   

Lately, I’ve realized that I’m good at emulating others - especially people I admire.  If so and so thinks that flying kites in the rain is a good idea, than so do I.  Even if it’s really not.  What’s so bad about copying other people, you might think, especially if their ideas and ideals are basically good ones?  While I don’t think it’s bad to want to pattern myself after someone, I still can’t help wondering one important truth;  if I’m so busy trying to become something I’m not, then I’m not really becoming the someone I am meant to be. 

 God’s been teaching me that sometimes I just need to stand on my own two feet - to figure out what I believe.  I’m not saying that I can’t learn from others, but what I am saying is this; God made me one-of-a-kind unique.  There’s no one else like me in the whole wide world – the snowflake effect.  So why do I try so hard to be someone or something that I’m not?   

Maybe it’s because of envy.  So and so seems so much smarter, important, educated, wise.  I’m just, well, little old me.  To be honest, I don’t really think that’s my issue though.  My problem stems more from a feeling of inferiority. I don’t think I can do it.  My opinions aren’t good enough.  My thoughts, my ideas, my feelings aren’t worthy enough.  I have to admit I’m a pretty simple person.  I don’t concern myself with things that are too great for me to understand.  In fact, sometimes I feel a little too simple.  Whenever I start to feel this way God reminds me of one very important truth. I’m not meant to be anyone else.    

How about you, you one-of-a-kind snowflake?  Do you believe that you are fearfully and wonderfully made?  If you don’t, you might want to reevaluate.  Chances are you’re not appreciating the beautiful person that God has made you to be.  So do yourself a favor.  Figure out what your opinions, your ideals, your thoughts are.  Learn from others, but don’t blindly imitate them.  Be yourself, and let the voice you speak to the world be your own. 

A New Year

Okay - jumping the gun a bit, but I figured this was a good "thank you" for the New Year.  I wrote this about ten years ago and sent it to my mom after she'd had a particularly bad year.  It was found when we were cleaning out her house. 
January, 2001

It's that time of year again, a time to ponder all of the wonderful miraculous blessings that we have received for yet another year.  Sometimes it's difficult to separate one year from another.  Time flies so swiftly, and we forget that what was so troublesome to us last year has now become a distant memory at best.  That's how quickly God can and does change things in our lives.

Sometimes I find myself neglecting to remember just how much God has answered my prayers.  At these moments I truly realize how ungrateful I am.  So God, please forgive me, and help me to remember:

Help me to remember the sore throat that went away, the toothache that never came, the car bill that wasn't mine to pay, the accident that never happened, the roommates and apartment that were mine to share, the extra money that helped me go on that trip, the doctor's visit that proved everything was A-OK.

The extra long smile from my brand new niece, the surprise week off from school, the long visit with my mom, a hug from a friend that changed my whole day, the Word of Life teaching my soul, the extra soft pillow on my bed at night, the stars shining brightly in the sky, the electricity we never lost, the rainbow reminding us that You keep your promises. 

The newborn babies I got to hold, the Saturday nights we spent with friends, the Sunday morning trips to church, the cows in the meadow and the grass in the field, and every other single blessing I've received so ungratefully from such a gracious hand as yours.

Amen.

P.S. Help me to have a better memory next year. 

Life Means So Much

Just found out today that a friend lost her father to a heart attack -out of the blue, unexpectedly.  Hearing the news brought me back to the day I lost my father.  The phone call came from my brother early on a Monday morning.  I thought he was calling to tell me how he'd done in a tennis tournament he'd played over the weekend.  I was not prepared for news of my father's death.  Is anyone ever prepared for that sort of call?  The call with news that you have cancer, or that your child was in a horrible accident, or that your best friend has passed away unexpectedly.  These kinds of things are never easy to take. 

Life is so precious, isn't it?  But somehow we forget that.  We go through our days, living a life that can seem so plain, hum-drum, even boring in its existence.  'Nothing will change,' we think, 'nothing will ever change.'  But I think this sort of attitude lulls us into a stupor - one in which we take life for granted.  After all, our days are endless, aren't they?   We can spend life however we want to.  Things will remain status quo.  There's just one problem with this theory;  there is no such thing as status quo.  Life is always changing, however small the increments may seem.  The world continues to spin, with or without our noticing it.

One lesson God really impressed  on my heart when I was still single, was to not wish my days away, pining for a husband.   So I tried to enjoy my singleness, embrace it almost.  Looking back now, I realize what a blessing that time was for me.  And the thing is, I can never go back.  I can never recapture that single, carefree life, much as I might want to, hard as I might try.  Life has moved on, and so have I. 

Raising two little ones these days, there are so many phases I am tempted to wish away.  How about fast forwarding through potty training, or the terrible twos, or having to put on socks, coats, tie shoes, etc. every time we go somewhere?  These are phases I would easily skip.  But when I'm tempted to do that, I call to mind that important lesson I learned long ago.   No day can ever  be called back into existence.  As the saying goes, "Time marches on, and waits for no man."

Wanted to share a favorite quote that I  think is very pertinent to this topic.  The quote comes from a bible study I was in several years ago, Becoming a Woman of Beauty. "Thus God works out His own high purposes slowly as it seems oftentimes, but surely and with unerring wisdom, until all things being done, the end is sudden, dramatic, complete."

These slow, humdrum, sometimes boring days, have purpose. They have meaning. Take each one and make the most of it.  You never know when your end will come.  When it does come, will you be able to say,' I made the most of each day I was given.'  My wish for you, my wish for myself is that we are able to answer emphatically, "Yes!"