Comfort Food

You know what I’ve realized about times of crisis?  The first place I run to get some comfort?  The kitchen.  Yea, you got it – I need comfort food.  Anyone out there who can relate?  Go on.  You don’t have to be shy.  Give a shout out for comfort food. 

Perfect instance?  Last night.  My son, bless his darn little soul, wanted to grow his dinosaurs - you know the ones that expand in water.  Apparently, he assumed the dinosaur would grow to be ten feet long.  So he left them in the sink to grow some more.  The problem?  He left the water running, and we didn’t discover the ensuing crisis until at least twenty minutes had passed. 

Thankfully, my husband heard something out of the ordinary, “What’s boiling he asked,” “Nothing,” I responded “There's nothing on in the kitchen.”  Five seconds later, “Oh [expletive], oh [expletive.]”  My husband rarely swears in front of the kids so when he did, I knew we were in trouble.  Running after him, I realized the problem immediately.  We had a flooded bathroom.  The telltale signs were the water stains beginning to form on our ceiling.  The first thing I wanted to grab as I chased my husband up the stairs?  Chocolate.  Yup, at that moment of crisis, I needed me a little chocolate fix. 

In fact, there were certain Girl Scout Cookies in the freezer calling to me, ‘Nici, we’re here for you, we’ll take all that stress you’re feeling away.’  I sooo wanted to grab those cookies and shove them in my mouth as fast as possible.  Only I was too busy gathering buckets and towels to have time to raid the freezer.  At least for the moment. 

When the dripping had mostly stopped, the cravings came fast and hard.  I was ready to grab half a pack of those Girl Scout treats and devour them in less than sixty.  (That’s seconds, not minutes.)  In fact, I was somewhat upset with myself that I didn’t have the really good stuff on hand.  I needed a better stock of comfort food;  Ben and Jerry’s, or those little chips by the name of Frito.  I especially needed my standard candy bar favorite -  a Caramello.  But not a one of those treats was in the house to soothe my sorrowing soul.   At this point, I didn’t care.  Any sweet treat would do.  So I ran to the kitchen, pulled out the box of cupcakes (lucky for me there were leftovers from the Super Bowl party), and prepared to drown my sorrows in those sweet little cakes.

But, for just a moment, I hesitated and thought long and hard about something.  Would this cupcake, or rather cupcakes, for I was prepared to devour as many as it took to get a really good buzz, would they really provide the comfort I so desperately needed?  Sugar rush, yes, good feelings, yes, guilt, well that I could deal with later, but real comfort, the kind that would last?  The answer was a resounding, no.  The cupcakes would taste good going down, but they weren’t going to give me peace, or slow my spinning thoughts, or assure me that, in the end, everything was going to be okay.  No, my sweet treats would only provide temporary comfort - a short term fix followed by a sugar crash that would result in feelings of regret and guilt.

Why would I even stop to consider this you might question.  Who cares if it was only a temporary fix.  After all, don’t we all run to food when we need some comfort?  But the thing is I don’t want my comfort to come from a candy bar.  I want it to be better than that.  I don’t want a temporary fix.  I need the real deal.  I need God, my Father.  See, lately I’ve been thinking about the role of food in our lives.  We love.  We crave.  We adore food.  It’s our fast fix.  But I don’t think it was meant to be that way.  I really don’t.  After all what was the original sin all about?  Food.  And we’ve been struggling to keep it in perspective ever since. 

Philippians 3:19 Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame.  Their mind is on earthly things.

Does that verse apply to me?  Yes, absolutely, and resoundingly, yes.  And I guess I’m at the point where I just don’t want it to be my life’s verse.  I want to keep food in perspective.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not going to rule out chocolate or some of the above named treats.  I just want to learn to enjoy what I eat and be satisfied with it.  Not always craving more, more, more, but being grateful for my portion, whatever it may be.  So the next time you run into a crisis and those salivary glands kick in, remember this truth.  Food will always fall short of the mark.  It will never be enough to satisfy our deepest cravings.  Those cravings were meant to lead us to God alone. 

Strong and Courageous

Joshua 1:9  Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

This was God's command to Joshua after Moses had died and Joshua was to take his place as  leader of God's people.  Joshua's job was to lead the Istraelites into the Promised Land.  Can you imagine how overwhelmed Joshua must have felt?  Here the leader he'd looked up to most of his adult life was gone, and now the burden of leading this group of spoiled, snotty Israelites fell directly on his shoulders.  I can only imagine how scared Joshua must have been.  Apparently, so could God because He repeated the  command  to be strong and courageous three times. (vs 6 and vs 7)

Ever been in a position where you feel overwhelmed by the load or task that you're about to undertake?  I know I have.  Back in the day when I was still teaching I felt overwhelmed more often than not.  So much to do.  So little time.  The weight of the world hung heavy on my heart - these students were entrusted into my care.  I was responsible for teaching them what they needed to learn.  All those subjects I needed to know; math, reading, writing, social studies, science.  All the papers to grade.  All the preparations to handle. And that before the kids even entered the room.  Everyday it seemed as if a month of work was crammed into that single day.  Yes, feeling overwhelmed as a teacher was an understatement. 

The first year I began teaching I came across a verse in the Bible that helped me find hope and strength even on the craziest and busiest of days.  The verse comes from 1 Chronicles 28:20.

David said to Solomon his son, "Be strong and courageous and do the work.  Do not be afraid or discouraged for the Lord God, my God, is with you.  He will not fail you or forsake you until the work [of building the temple] is finished.

These were the words and wisdom of David as he was speaking about the most important task Solomon was to undertake during his reign; building a temple of the Lord - a house where God's glory would preside, a place of worship for the Israelites.  Why would David choose to share this wisdom with his son?  Mostly, I suppose, it was because David knew what it was like to be king. After all he'd reighned for forty years.  Not only that, but he recognized the huge task that Solomon had before him.

These words of wisdom that David shared with his son became so important to me that I copied them down and taped them to my desk.  Every morning before the bell rang, I would read the verse.  It was like a pep talk.  The phrase that stuck out to me most was "Do the work."  Notice it didn't say 'Wait on the Lord and he will do the work for you.'  No, this was a command, "Do the work." 

Whenever I'm struggling with depression, I remember this verse and, in particular, its command to do the work.  Even if I don't feel like it, even if I want to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head.  No matter the effort it takes to just begin the task this verse always encourages me, and, in some cases, gives me a kick in the butt.  Do the work don't be afraid or discouraged for the Lord your God is with you.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? I don't care what you do for a living or what tasks you have to tackle, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that all of us, at what time or another, have been overwhelmingly overwhelmed.  So here's my encouragement to you . . . when you're facing a mountain of tasks that you just don't think you can handle remember these verses, "Be strong and Courageous and do the work."  And, even more importantly, take claim of the promise at the end of the verse.  " Do not be afraid or discouraged for the Lord God, . . . is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until the work  . . . is finished."

Step by Step

Well, what should I write about today?  Jack had his tonsils out last Thursday so he and I have been out of commission for a week. Feels good to sit back in my chair and let my thoughts flow onto paper, or, in this case, screen. Anyway, here goes. 

Been thinking about my future - what will happen when I finally head back to "work" and by work I mean the kind where you actually leave your house, do your job, and get paid. I've done work these past seven years, without pay or sick leave, mind you, but I have to admit it's been kind of fun. Being master of my own domain, setting my own schedule, taking coffee breaks with friends. Yea, it hasn't been all bad.

So what do I do now? After six years of being a stay-at-home mom, I feel kind of out of the groove. Should I go back and teach, or work part time, or get an "easy gig" where I can put in my hours at work and not have the bother of bringing more home.

Sometimes I feel sorry for my hubby. I know he wouldn't want me to, but he goes through a lot of stress at his job. I have stress but it's a different kind. I don't have anybody but myself to answer to.  I don't have anyone breathing down my neck to get this or that done. I don't have to worry about if I'm doing this right or that wrong. Well I take that back, I worry a lot about whether I'm doing a good job raising my kids, but those are manageable worries. I can control even those thoughts. 

I know that one of the reasons that I am so stable and relatively anxiety free have, in part, been due to the fact that I don't have a job outside the home.  Like I've already said, I am master of my own domain. I can do what I want, when I want, and how I want to do it.

 When I go back to work will I be able to handle the stress, or will anxiety once again be breathing down my neck paralyzing me with its constant nagging. So what do I want to do when I grow up? If you told me I could write and get paid for it I'd be all about that. I love to write. Love, Love, Love it! At this point I'm leaving that in God's hands praying and knowing that he'll guide me to the place or places I need to be.

 Hope you feel guided in your life, too.  Do you every feel a little bit disgusted that God doesn't give us a road map to point out the way - where we should be going and how we're going to get there.  I know I could use a big neon sign that told me exactly what to do.  But that's not the way life works is it? Because, after all, we're supposed to be living by faith; the faith that is sure of what it hopes for and certain of what it does not see. (Hebrews 11:1)

 Abraham lived with this kind of faith. So did all of our Christian ancestors. Nobody got to see what was in store for them. You and I are in good company. Living by faith is hard, but I do believe it will be worth it when we enter into heaven. Then, all our questions will be answered and we'll find out that we were being led in the right direction all along. So take heart, we're being guided by a Master who takes us step by step as we follow his lead. I'll finish with one of my favorite quotes - a quote that reminds me to take life one step at a time.



Lead, kindly light . . keep thou my feet ; I do not ask to see the distant scene one step enough for me. (John Henry Newman)