that crazy garbage disposal

It’s confession time.  Do you know what household “appliance” scares me the most?  I guess there’s really no surprise since it is the title of this entry.  But humor me anyway.   It’s the garbage disposal; yes you read it correctly, the garbage disposal.  I’m telling you, it’s an apparatus to be feared.  Don’t ask me why, but ever since I was a little girl, my fear and dread of the garbage disposal have been like thorns in my flesh.  All right, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but, nonetheless, the garbage disposal has truly mystified me for the past 38 years. 

First, it was the warning from my mother.  You know the one . . .  “Never, ever put your hands into the disposal while it’s running.  You could cut off your fingers.”  This warning was enough to scare the living daylights out of me.  Of course, I was grateful for the information.  No mangled hands for me, no sirree.

As an adult I figured keeping my hands out of the disposal was the only rule to follow.  I had that one down, no problem.  But, hold on, when I entered college a second warning from a roommate made me wish I’d never even heard the word garbage disposal.  Now I had two rules to follow?  Too much pressure.  It happened one night while I was cleaning the kitchen.   I was pouring the rest of my yummy Raman noodles down the drain and was set to switch on the garbage disposal when my roommate grabbed my had and firmly told me, “Never, ever (there’s that phrase never, ever again so I knew this was  serious.)  Never, ever run the disposal with hot water.  Always use cold.” 

Suddenly my brain was spinning.  Could this be possible?  Did I miss something?  For the life of me I couldn’t recall this rule at all.  Had Mom forgotten to tell me?  Oh, the dilemma.  But being a girl that likes to play it safe, I added this rule to my manual on garbage disposal etiquette.  From now on, I would use only cold water when I ran the disposal.  Once I’d begun to follow this rule faithfully, I breathed a sigh of relief.  Surely there were no more rules to follow.  I was safe and well informed on the finer points of disposal use.  

But then I got married, and once again I was forced to acquire a new rule.  To make matters worse it came from my husband.  While I was cleaning the kitchen one night and using the disposal very appropriately, I must say, his advice blindsided me.  “Honey, aren’t’ you running that disposal a little long?  I remember in Home Ec the teacher told us to run it for only short spurts.”  I gave him a cold, calculated look.  Now I know my mother had never, ever given me this “never, ever” advice.  Did I really want to change everything up just because some home ec teacher told my husband something fifteen or so years ago?  And the answer was, of course, yes.  Why take a chance?

Sighing, I shut of the garbage disposal and added the new “rule” to my list.  I vowed from then on to follow these three rules faithfully.  Each time I used the disposal I muttered my three rule mantra, “Hands clear.  Cold Water.  Short Spurts.  Hands clear.  Cold water.  Short spurts.”   

By now you may be thinking, “This gal is crazy.  Who’s afraid of the garbage disposal?”  But my fears are real deep-seeded ones.  Which leads me to a question; what exactly am I afraid of?  You’re going to laugh, but I really think it all boils down to one thing.  I’m a rule follower.  One of those who pours over a recipe to ensure that I’m using the right amount, of the right ingredients, in the right order.  Rarely do I just creatively “throw something together” for dinner. 

What’s worse my son is following in my footsteps.  At conferences, his teacher informed me that whenever another student in class does something wrong; he’s quick to tell them that they “broke the rules”.  And with that, I realized that I need to try to be a little less anal about “following the rules” and a little more open to the possibility of making a mistake.  After all, I don’t want my children to grow up with the same insane fears I have. 

And while I may never completely get over my fears of the disposal, the lesson in this will perhaps be a good reminder.  It’s okay to mess up.  It’s okay to not doing everything perfectly all the time.  Except, of course, for the mangled hand thing – I probably want to get that one right.  But the others?    It’s okay if I don’t follow the manual all the time.  So as I close this silly tale, I will ask for only one favor.  If you know of any more rules about running the garbage disposal, please don’t send them my way.  The “rule follower” in me thanks you. 

children are a gift

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

 (Psalm 127:3 NLT)

Some days I don’t feel that the above verse applies to my family.  My five- year-old who stubbornly refuses to do his chores, a gift?  Really?  My three-year-old who has mastered the art of throwing a tantrum - she’s my reward?  If I were to count the number of times my children have misbehaved, acted defiantly, ignored my commands – well,  I don’t think there’d be enough books in the world to contain all those stories.  So what’s up with this “children are a gift” thing?   

I remember shortly before I had my first child a baby shower was thrown for me.  One of the “activities” that the guests participated in was to write down words of advice.  Even now I enjoy looking back at these words of wisdom.  One particular bit that has stuck with me through the years came from an aunt of mine.  She wrote, “Remember your child is a gift entrusted to you to train and nurture as only you can do.”  Call me crazy, but I really think that my husband and I were meant to raise our two children in a way that only we can.  God entrusted these babies into our care.  He handpicked us to raise our unique and special little ones. 

What’s more, I believe that about every parent.  Each parent is given the gift and ability to raise their own unique ones.  The problem is that we sometimes forget that.  We forget that they’re entrusted into our care.  We forget how special they are to God, how special they are to us.   Too often in the midst of the muck and mire of life we forget that our children are, indeed ,treasures.

Jesus set a precedent when it came to caring for little ones.  He blessed the children when they came to him.  He soundly rebuked his disciples when they tried to shoo them away.  The kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these, he said. (Matthew 19:14)  So why don’t we act like that - like our children are the best and greatest gifts we have ever been given? 

Even worse, why do some become careless and callous towards these “gifts” – neglecting and even abusing the very ones who were meant to be treasured.   Children are the most vulnerable beings on the planet.  They depend on us.  They look to us to for all of their needs.  We are their parents.  We were, in essence, meant to “die to self” in raising them.

I would like to share a story that broke my heart.  It started out as a prayer request from a friend.  This dear friend called me to say that her brother’s girlfriend was pregnant. Not only that but she had decided to terminate the pregnancy.  I don’t know what the reason was – why this path was chosen, but I can’t help but see a terrible irony here.  You see, my friend and her husband have been unable to have children, and they want so badly to be parents.  So here you have this couple eager to expand their family while their brother’s girlfriend makes the decision to end her baby’s life.  And, yes, I’m going to refer to “it” as a baby.  They are gifts after all, born or unborn. 

There is a law in 36 states that states that if a fetus is killed inside its mother’s womb the perpetrator is charged with double homicide.  Crazy.   And what it all boils down to is a matter of convenience, isn’t it?   We call the child a baby when it’s wanted and a fetus when it’s not. 

I know this is a sensitive subject , one I hesitate to bring up.  But even as I write this I can’t get that verse out of my mind.  Children are a gift, they’re a reward.  What if we believed that in every fiber of our being?  If we did, I’m convinced we would see the unborn and all children differently.   We wouldn’t reject a gift as precious as a child because we know that a gift rejected is a sad thing indeed. 

Comfort Food

You know what I’ve realized about times of crisis?  The first place I run to get some comfort?  The kitchen.  Yea, you got it – I need comfort food.  Anyone out there who can relate?  Go on.  You don’t have to be shy.  Give a shout out for comfort food. 

Perfect instance?  Last night.  My son, bless his darn little soul, wanted to grow his dinosaurs - you know the ones that expand in water.  Apparently, he assumed the dinosaur would grow to be ten feet long.  So he left them in the sink to grow some more.  The problem?  He left the water running, and we didn’t discover the ensuing crisis until at least twenty minutes had passed. 

Thankfully, my husband heard something out of the ordinary, “What’s boiling he asked,” “Nothing,” I responded “There's nothing on in the kitchen.”  Five seconds later, “Oh [expletive], oh [expletive.]”  My husband rarely swears in front of the kids so when he did, I knew we were in trouble.  Running after him, I realized the problem immediately.  We had a flooded bathroom.  The telltale signs were the water stains beginning to form on our ceiling.  The first thing I wanted to grab as I chased my husband up the stairs?  Chocolate.  Yup, at that moment of crisis, I needed me a little chocolate fix. 

In fact, there were certain Girl Scout Cookies in the freezer calling to me, ‘Nici, we’re here for you, we’ll take all that stress you’re feeling away.’  I sooo wanted to grab those cookies and shove them in my mouth as fast as possible.  Only I was too busy gathering buckets and towels to have time to raid the freezer.  At least for the moment. 

When the dripping had mostly stopped, the cravings came fast and hard.  I was ready to grab half a pack of those Girl Scout treats and devour them in less than sixty.  (That’s seconds, not minutes.)  In fact, I was somewhat upset with myself that I didn’t have the really good stuff on hand.  I needed a better stock of comfort food;  Ben and Jerry’s, or those little chips by the name of Frito.  I especially needed my standard candy bar favorite -  a Caramello.  But not a one of those treats was in the house to soothe my sorrowing soul.   At this point, I didn’t care.  Any sweet treat would do.  So I ran to the kitchen, pulled out the box of cupcakes (lucky for me there were leftovers from the Super Bowl party), and prepared to drown my sorrows in those sweet little cakes.

But, for just a moment, I hesitated and thought long and hard about something.  Would this cupcake, or rather cupcakes, for I was prepared to devour as many as it took to get a really good buzz, would they really provide the comfort I so desperately needed?  Sugar rush, yes, good feelings, yes, guilt, well that I could deal with later, but real comfort, the kind that would last?  The answer was a resounding, no.  The cupcakes would taste good going down, but they weren’t going to give me peace, or slow my spinning thoughts, or assure me that, in the end, everything was going to be okay.  No, my sweet treats would only provide temporary comfort - a short term fix followed by a sugar crash that would result in feelings of regret and guilt.

Why would I even stop to consider this you might question.  Who cares if it was only a temporary fix.  After all, don’t we all run to food when we need some comfort?  But the thing is I don’t want my comfort to come from a candy bar.  I want it to be better than that.  I don’t want a temporary fix.  I need the real deal.  I need God, my Father.  See, lately I’ve been thinking about the role of food in our lives.  We love.  We crave.  We adore food.  It’s our fast fix.  But I don’t think it was meant to be that way.  I really don’t.  After all what was the original sin all about?  Food.  And we’ve been struggling to keep it in perspective ever since. 

Philippians 3:19 Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame.  Their mind is on earthly things.

Does that verse apply to me?  Yes, absolutely, and resoundingly, yes.  And I guess I’m at the point where I just don’t want it to be my life’s verse.  I want to keep food in perspective.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not going to rule out chocolate or some of the above named treats.  I just want to learn to enjoy what I eat and be satisfied with it.  Not always craving more, more, more, but being grateful for my portion, whatever it may be.  So the next time you run into a crisis and those salivary glands kick in, remember this truth.  Food will always fall short of the mark.  It will never be enough to satisfy our deepest cravings.  Those cravings were meant to lead us to God alone. 

Strong and Courageous

Joshua 1:9  Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

This was God's command to Joshua after Moses had died and Joshua was to take his place as  leader of God's people.  Joshua's job was to lead the Istraelites into the Promised Land.  Can you imagine how overwhelmed Joshua must have felt?  Here the leader he'd looked up to most of his adult life was gone, and now the burden of leading this group of spoiled, snotty Israelites fell directly on his shoulders.  I can only imagine how scared Joshua must have been.  Apparently, so could God because He repeated the  command  to be strong and courageous three times. (vs 6 and vs 7)

Ever been in a position where you feel overwhelmed by the load or task that you're about to undertake?  I know I have.  Back in the day when I was still teaching I felt overwhelmed more often than not.  So much to do.  So little time.  The weight of the world hung heavy on my heart - these students were entrusted into my care.  I was responsible for teaching them what they needed to learn.  All those subjects I needed to know; math, reading, writing, social studies, science.  All the papers to grade.  All the preparations to handle. And that before the kids even entered the room.  Everyday it seemed as if a month of work was crammed into that single day.  Yes, feeling overwhelmed as a teacher was an understatement. 

The first year I began teaching I came across a verse in the Bible that helped me find hope and strength even on the craziest and busiest of days.  The verse comes from 1 Chronicles 28:20.

David said to Solomon his son, "Be strong and courageous and do the work.  Do not be afraid or discouraged for the Lord God, my God, is with you.  He will not fail you or forsake you until the work [of building the temple] is finished.

These were the words and wisdom of David as he was speaking about the most important task Solomon was to undertake during his reign; building a temple of the Lord - a house where God's glory would preside, a place of worship for the Israelites.  Why would David choose to share this wisdom with his son?  Mostly, I suppose, it was because David knew what it was like to be king. After all he'd reighned for forty years.  Not only that, but he recognized the huge task that Solomon had before him.

These words of wisdom that David shared with his son became so important to me that I copied them down and taped them to my desk.  Every morning before the bell rang, I would read the verse.  It was like a pep talk.  The phrase that stuck out to me most was "Do the work."  Notice it didn't say 'Wait on the Lord and he will do the work for you.'  No, this was a command, "Do the work." 

Whenever I'm struggling with depression, I remember this verse and, in particular, its command to do the work.  Even if I don't feel like it, even if I want to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head.  No matter the effort it takes to just begin the task this verse always encourages me, and, in some cases, gives me a kick in the butt.  Do the work don't be afraid or discouraged for the Lord your God is with you.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? I don't care what you do for a living or what tasks you have to tackle, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that all of us, at what time or another, have been overwhelmingly overwhelmed.  So here's my encouragement to you . . . when you're facing a mountain of tasks that you just don't think you can handle remember these verses, "Be strong and Courageous and do the work."  And, even more importantly, take claim of the promise at the end of the verse.  " Do not be afraid or discouraged for the Lord God, . . . is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until the work  . . . is finished."

Step by Step

Well, what should I write about today?  Jack had his tonsils out last Thursday so he and I have been out of commission for a week. Feels good to sit back in my chair and let my thoughts flow onto paper, or, in this case, screen. Anyway, here goes. 

Been thinking about my future - what will happen when I finally head back to "work" and by work I mean the kind where you actually leave your house, do your job, and get paid. I've done work these past seven years, without pay or sick leave, mind you, but I have to admit it's been kind of fun. Being master of my own domain, setting my own schedule, taking coffee breaks with friends. Yea, it hasn't been all bad.

So what do I do now? After six years of being a stay-at-home mom, I feel kind of out of the groove. Should I go back and teach, or work part time, or get an "easy gig" where I can put in my hours at work and not have the bother of bringing more home.

Sometimes I feel sorry for my hubby. I know he wouldn't want me to, but he goes through a lot of stress at his job. I have stress but it's a different kind. I don't have anybody but myself to answer to.  I don't have anyone breathing down my neck to get this or that done. I don't have to worry about if I'm doing this right or that wrong. Well I take that back, I worry a lot about whether I'm doing a good job raising my kids, but those are manageable worries. I can control even those thoughts. 

I know that one of the reasons that I am so stable and relatively anxiety free have, in part, been due to the fact that I don't have a job outside the home.  Like I've already said, I am master of my own domain. I can do what I want, when I want, and how I want to do it.

 When I go back to work will I be able to handle the stress, or will anxiety once again be breathing down my neck paralyzing me with its constant nagging. So what do I want to do when I grow up? If you told me I could write and get paid for it I'd be all about that. I love to write. Love, Love, Love it! At this point I'm leaving that in God's hands praying and knowing that he'll guide me to the place or places I need to be.

 Hope you feel guided in your life, too.  Do you every feel a little bit disgusted that God doesn't give us a road map to point out the way - where we should be going and how we're going to get there.  I know I could use a big neon sign that told me exactly what to do.  But that's not the way life works is it? Because, after all, we're supposed to be living by faith; the faith that is sure of what it hopes for and certain of what it does not see. (Hebrews 11:1)

 Abraham lived with this kind of faith. So did all of our Christian ancestors. Nobody got to see what was in store for them. You and I are in good company. Living by faith is hard, but I do believe it will be worth it when we enter into heaven. Then, all our questions will be answered and we'll find out that we were being led in the right direction all along. So take heart, we're being guided by a Master who takes us step by step as we follow his lead. I'll finish with one of my favorite quotes - a quote that reminds me to take life one step at a time.



Lead, kindly light . . keep thou my feet ; I do not ask to see the distant scene one step enough for me. (John Henry Newman)

Bratty and Whiny

Reading a new book called The Story.  In it excerpts of the NIV are carefully crafted together to tell one of the greatest stories of all time.  Really, really interesting to read.  What's come across to me so far is how bratty and whiny the Israelites were.  No matter what they had, it was never enough, never the right thing, never the right time.

The story unfolds with one of their forefathers, Abraham.  God makes great and wonderful promises to him, promises like "through your offspring all nations will be blessed".  And when, by God's leading, Abraham travels to a strange and distant land, God makes a great and wonderful promise once again.  He tells Abraham that someday his descendants will posess this land - a land flowing with milk and honey.  In turn, God promises the same to Issac, Abraham's son, and to Jacob, Abraham's grandson.  With all these promises the nation of Israel is completely confident that God is able to do what he says he will do, right?  Well, not exactly.

Flash forward a few hundred years.  Abraham's descendants are now in  Egypt where they are being mistreated and abused as slaves.  When they cry out for deliverance, God, being the almighty and loving One, hears their cries of distress.  What does he do ?  He acts.  He intervenes.  After all, that's what he promised Abraham, and Issac, and Jacob he would do.  God delivers the Israelites from slavery to go to the land that he once promised to their ancestors. 

Through Moses, their leader, God does amazing things - things never seen before.  He sends plague upon plague to the Egyptians until they practically beg the Israelites to leave.  The Egyptians even load them down with some of their own posessions giving Israel plunder to carry away.  Then, when Pharoah changes his heart and decides to chase after the Israelites, God intervenes with an act that will never be forgotten.  The Red Sea parts.  The Israelites pass through unharmed. But when the Egyptians pursue them the waters crash back together.  Pharoah and all his army are destroyed. 

Just like that the Israelites have experienced the mighty deliverance of God.  So you would think they would be bursting with thankfulness, full of faith, hope, love.   But, after a few weeks, they do what comes natural to most of us - they complain.    They don't have any water.  They don't have food. Why did Moses bring them into the desert - a place where they could starve to death or die of thirst?  They were better off in Egypt, or so they say.   Just three short days after they'd  come safely through the Red Sea, this is how they act.

For three days they traveled in the desert without finding water.  When they came to Marah, they could not drink its water because it was bitter.  So the people grumbled against Moses, saying, "What are we to drink?"  Exodus 15:22-23

Long story short, God provides the water they were crying out for.  Finally, at last, they believe that God is with them.  He is their protector.  He will guide.  He will provide.  And, if they doubt God's guidance, they need only raise their eyes to the horizon.  God's very presence is with them every step of the way -  pillar of cloud by day, a pillar of fire by night.   Unfortunately, that's not the way it happens:

On the fifteenth day of the second month after they had come out of Egypt.  In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron.  The Israelites said to them, "If only we had died by the Lord's hand in Egypt!  There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into the desert to starve this entire assembly to death.  Exodus 16:1-3

Are you kidding me? Really?  Hadn't God provided for them thus far in miraculous ways.  What did they have to worry about?  What did they have to complain about?  But those Israelites were stubborn, hard headed.  They complained about everything;  their circumstances, their situation.  You name it, they complained about it.  There wasn't enough food.  It wasn't the right kind.  They were without water, or the water didn't taste good.  And, as if that weren't enough, when they weren't complaining they were crafting golden calves to worship and bow down to.  What was their problem? 

Yea, those Israelites really had some trust issues.  But when I really stop and think about it, it reminds me of someone else I know.  Me.  I worry about this, I worry about that.  I don't have enough of this, or I have too much of that.  It's rainy when I want it to be sunny.  It's sunny when I want it to be rainy. 

 I can think back to all the times God's provided for me, delivered me, given me my daily bread.  Yet I find myself getting worked up about so much.  God's never lacking in love, so why do I freak out?  The Israelites had their issues, but, sad to say, I can be as bratty as the best of them. 

Well, I'd like to say that in the end the nation of Israel learns their lesson.  But they don't.  Just before God leads them in to take possession of the land he promised to Abraham this is what he has to say to those bratty, whiny, Israelites

During the forty years that I led your through the wilderness, your clothes did not wear out, nor did the sandals on your feet . . .  I did this so that you might know that I am the Lord your God.

Just because they didn't learn their lesson doesn't mean I can't or that you can't.   The next time you're tempted to worry or be anxious about something, stop and think long and hard about those Israelites.   God may not be guiding you by a pillar of cloud or a big ring of fire, but he's certainly proven himself to be worthy of our trust.  The moral of the story?  Learn to be thankful, not anxious.  And, the next time you're tempted to complain about something, think about those Israelites.  Determine to rise above all the whinyness and bratiness that they could never seem to get over. 

Say It Now

Mom received so many compliments the night of the visitation and the day of her funeral.  No, scratch that.  We, her three children, received the compliments.  People who knew and loved her came up telling us what a wonderful person, teacher, friend she was.  But to be brutally honest, she could have cared less at this point. Who needs human praise when you’re in the glories of heaven?  Don’t get me wrong.  Many came up to her when she was still living and expressed their gratitude.  Some said she was the best teacher they ever had.  Others commented on how well they did in high school English because she had prepared them.  Honestly, I can say that she was one of my best and favorite teachers.  That’s saying a lot since when she taught me I was in my middle-school-rebellious-my-parents-drive-me-crazy- age.

All these compliments made me wonder something.  Why don’t we let people know how much we care about them, how much we appreciate them or what an inspiration they’ve been to us before it’s too late?  Why don’t we take time for that?  Why is it that when they lie cold and lifeless, indifferent to every compliment or praise given, we choose to speak our gratitude?  Why do we wait?  Say it now.  Make that your mantra.  If someone’s helped you, or you enjoy their smile, or they’ve been your true friend in a dark hour tell them.  There is never a better opportunity to tell the truth than now.   Before they go to the grave people should be told what a friend, mentor, parent, colleague they were and how they influenced your life for the better.  I know when I receive a compliment, no matter how simple it is, it makes my day. 

Remember the Christmas movie “It’s a Wonderful Life”?   In the movie the main character gets a chance to see just how much his life has impacted others.  In his darkest hour, George contemplates throwing himself off a bridge.  He thinks there’s no hope for him.  Enter Clarence, the wingless angel, the one sent to watch over George and teach him a lesson.  Clarence, by giving George a chance to see what would happen to his family, friends, even town if he’d never been born, opens George’s eyes to just how much his life has impacted others.  Well, you’ve probably seen the ending and I don’t mean to give it away, but in the end George realizes that he’s done more good in his life than he ever realized.  And, in his direst need, he finds that friend, after friend, after friend rally around him showing just how much they love and care for him.

How about you?  Is there someone in your life who’s impacted you in a positive way?  Someone you would never have made it this far if they hadn’t been there for you.  Well, what are you waiting for?  Pick up your phone.  Write them a letter.  Even texting and emailing are better than nothing.  Say It Now.  Don’t wait for the end of their life to give them accolades.  Chances are that, with a simple thanks, you could be giving them just the boost they need – the boost to keep them going even in some of life’s darkest times.  Say it now.  Say it before it’s too late.