more than just a crazy dream

I have been thinking about Mom a lot today. We are approaching one year since she passed away. In the blog entry I wrote shortly after she died, I mentioned her words of love to me, “I’ll always love you. Never forget that.” When I want to call her to share something exciting, interesting, or difficult the part of me that so looked forward to those chats hurts. Today, I was running errands and at my daughter’s request popped in a Christmas CD. Listening to it, my mind traveled back to what was happening a year ago at this time when Mom was on hospice. And wham. The waterworks started. Losing Mom in the midst of the Christmas season was hard. No way around that.

And even though it hurts to write this entry, I’d like to share some valuable lessons that I’ve learned over the past year. A few months ago when the grief was still quite fresh, I found myself fixating on all the bad stuff. How much pain Mom had been in. How quickly she went downhill after we discovered her kidney was failing. The sadness I felt over all of her struggles was burdensome. It consumed me. I could, if I had let myself, wallow in the pain and misery that were mine throughout the last several months of Mom’s life.

But two things occurred to me. Number one, my mother would be so mad if she knew that I was dwelling on all the pain she endured. I can hear her tell me, “Now don’t be silly. I’m in heaven now. There’s nothing to cry about.” Mom never did like to draw attention to her pain, and I imagine she’d be less tolerant of it even now.

Number two, Mom’s experiencing the glories of heaven. All the pain she endured all those years is a blip on the radar screen in comparison with eternity. So now, I try to be happy and think about all the good memories we had as a family. I find that the grief that pierces my heart doesn’t cut quite as deeply when I let go of the pain and focus on the joy of life.

Thirdly, I was reminded that God did care about our pain - that his heart grieved for me and my family. Shortly before Mom died, God gave us a gift we could hold close to our hearts. A gift that would help ease our pain in the coming days, weeks, months and years. The gift He gave was a glimpse of the unseen realities happening all around us, the behind-the-scenes action, as He pulled back the curtains of Paradise and let us have a peek inside.

It happened in a dream that my sister-in-law, JoDee, had one night shortly before Mom passed away. Because we no longer left Mom alone at night, JoDee was spending the night in Mom’s apartment. In her dream my sister-in-law vividly remembers having a couple of “visitors”. The first “visitor” walked right through the front door. Being more surprised than alarmed, JoDee noticed that he was replacing a light bulb and asked, “What are you doing?” His response was straight and to the point, “I’m changing the light bulb. I need to light the way.”

A few moments later another “visitor” came in through a corner of the apartment. Again, JoDee was bemused by this visit thinking to herself, ‘I didn’t know there was a door in that corner of the apartment’. This visitor said nothing to JoDee, she simply gave a nod and a smile as she walked past her. Then the visitor walked up to gaze into my mothers’s room. JoDee watched this visitor smile as she looked at Mom, not saying a word. In that moment, JoDee woke up and heard Mom struggle and went quickly to her bedside.

Now, you could chalk this all up to a fluke, a simple dream and nothing more. But I’d like to believe that JoDee wasn’t just experiencing a dream that night but was permitted to see the unseen – what was happening all around her that couldn’t be observed with human eyes.

Several days later when I came into town, JoDee was compelled to share that dream with me. Later on, she shared with me that there are only three dreams she’s ever remembered and the two she had that night were part of those recollections. I think for my whole life I will remember these dreams. I will remember them as vividly as if they were my own. And even now, the recollection of them makes me smile; to know that someone was lighting the way for Mom, that they were preparing to bring her home.

I’ve only shared that dream with a handful of people. But the memory of it gives me such hope that I wanted to share it with all of you. Call it an early Christmas present, a gift or whatever you want. If you’re experiencing heartache like my family and I suffered last Christmas, I hope that in some small way this dream gives you comfort, hope and joy, too.

Hurry up, Patience

Hurry up, patience, you’re not moving fast enough. Kind of a weird way to start a blog entry, but is there more than a grain of truth in what I wrote? In today’s crazy, fast paced world it’s hard to be patient. We want patience to hurry up - to get out of our way because we have things to do, places to go and people to see.

Whether we’re standing in a grocery line behind a woman with dozens of coupons and a long list of price matches, or going through the drive thru at our favorite fast food restaurant and it’s taking more than 5 minutes (gasp), we don’t want to be patient. We don’t want to wait. So what shall we call it - impatience, the tyranny of the urgent ? I think C.S. Lewis nailed it when he said this, “If there’s a spirit of hell, it’s the spirit of distraction.”

 

I blame technology – and all of the devices that distract us day in and day out. The ones that allow us to have a disjointed conversation with a facebook friend we don’t really know, rather than a real one with the person across the table from us. And a question arises - is all this new technology - these urgent mobile device and pads and whatever else that's out there, are they really serving us or are we simply bowing down to the god of the immediate – instant gratification. I guess I’m not saying that all technology is wrong. In and of themselves these devices can’t do anything. No, it’s not the devices that give us so much trouble it’s what we do with them.

Do some soul-searching and ask yourself a few questions. Are these devices a distraction at your family’s dinner table? Do you find yourself checking your phone every two minutes to get the latest updates, or weather reports, or facebook posts? Maybe, just maybe, you might want to put that mobile device down during dinnertime. Better yet, turn it off for the evening. Be. Just be. Be with the ones you love - not distractedly but fully engaged in whatever conversation you’re having.

Set yourself free from the tyranny of the urgent. Make time for the people that really matter in your life. Remember this. Your phone may give you the latest facebook updates, the ability to watch funny u-tube videos or any other number of wonderful distractions, but it won’t give you a hug and a kiss at the end of the day or tell you it loves you.  That’s a family thing  - and family should always come before phones.

A Prayer for Living as Good Citizens to God’s Glory

A Prayer for Living as Good Citizens to God’s Glory

Posted By Scotty Smith On November 7, 2012 @ 6:20 am In Prayer | 3 Comments

Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

 

Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men. Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God. Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king. 1 Pet 2:11-17

Dear heavenly Father, it’s the morning after we Americans have cast our votes. A president, along with many other public officials, have been elected, or re-elected. For some of us, there is great elation and relief, for others, there is tremendous disappointment, even despair.

 

For all of us, there is a need to hear from you—to still our hearts and know that you alone are God; to affirm that you are no less sovereign this morning that you were before the polls closed yesterday afternoon; to remember that your purposes will stand, your kingdom will come, your glory, one Day, will cover the earth as the waters cover the sea.

 

Indeed, Father, our confidence is not in horses, chariots or men; nor in political parties, sitting presidents or supreme court justices; nor in the Dow Jones average, lower taxes, or bigger barns; nor in public policy or in private enterprise. Our hope and trust are in you.

 

In this Scripture, we hear you say, and we affirm, that you’ve called us to live good lives among our neighbors and in our culture—to be commendable citizens, not disengaged cynics; for your sake, to submit to authorities, governors and the king (president), for they are your providential servants (Rom. 13:1); to use our freedom in Christ “to silence the ignorant talk of foolish people,” not to add more godless chatter to the public conversation; to live respectfully of all people, not resentfully of any. By the power of the gospel, help us to do so.

 

Lastly, Father, may we fear you 1000 times more than we are either excited this morning or are quite disappointed by the outcome of the election. You alone are God; you are in the heavens and you do whatever pleases you. As your servants, may we prove the wonders of Jesus’ love this very day, and tomorrow, and the next, far as the curse is found. So very Amen we pray, in the exalted and triumphant name of Jesus.