Love is as Strong as Death

Wow!  Stare at a blank page and wonder if any words will come to explain what’s happening.  As the verse in scripture goes the Spirit intercedes for us when we know not how or what to pray.  So here I am wordlessly praying that something good, even beautiful, will come out of all the pain that’s stored up in my heart. 

Having her so close to death during the Holiday season is certainly no fun.  It makes me wonder if this time of year will ever be celebratory again for my family and me.    

Lately, I have wondered in my heart why God would allow my mother’s last days to happen during a season that is supposed to be filled with hope, joy, and peace.  Is this some cruel twist of irony?  I have to say that as I watch her walk through this final struggle I almost feel angry with God.  What kind of God would do this to us?  Why should the holiday season be forever tainted by this loss?

But the other day as I drove up to be with her, I played Christmas music.  Don’t’ ask me why.  It just seemed to be the right thing to do at the time.  And though my stony heart rebelled against the joy, the hope, the peace of the music, in time it became perfectly clear to me why losing mom during this Christmas Season is a beautiful thing.

 God has made everything beautiful in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:11a (NIV)

I know it sounds crazy and that losing her now means that the holiday season will always be bittersweet.  But it is the season we are in now that gives me hope.  There is a passage in the bible that reminds me of something.  It reminds me that while my mom will be leaving her earthly body soon there is something that is even stronger than death.  The verse comes from Song of Songs:

⁶ Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm.
For love is as strong as death,
its jealousy^[c] as enduring as the grave.^[d]
Love flashes like fire,
the brightest kind of flame.
⁷ Many waters cannot quench love,
nor can rivers drown it.
If a man tried to buy love
with all his wealth,
his offer would be utterly scorned. (NLT)

The phrase that caught my attention?   “Love is as strong as death.”  I’ve been thinking about it and reflecting on it.  It all ties together with a moment when everything clicked for me. 

A few weeks ago, I called Mom to check in on her.  At that point she was still feeling relatively well - more like her “old self”.  At the end of every phone conversation we always express our love to one another, but at the end of this phone call mom uttered an addendum to the normal “I love you.”  Her three simple words, “Never forget that,” were a benediction of sorts - a memory that will burn in my heart for years to come

Since that conversation her health has continued to deteriorate, and, while I know that when she passes life will go on for the rest us, there is a part of me that will never be the same.  But even in the midst of this loss, there is hope.  Though the grave may take her from us, for now, – the love more powerful than death will hold us in an inseparable bond – mother, daughter now and always.   And no death is going to rob me of that joy – not ever. 

1 Corinthians 13:12, 13 Now we see but a poor refection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.   And now these three things remain:  faith, hope, and love.  But the greatest of these is love.  (NIV)