it's crazy how time flies

Today, I sit before my computer contemplating my future. I am so excited for this new chapter I’m entering into. Being a stay-at-home mom was an answer to prayer, but I have to admit there were times when I felt insignificant and alone. Parenting is no easy job, whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or a working mom. I would like to say that I have a vast wealth of knowledge to share with you now that my youngest is in kindergarten. But I really don’t. Nevertheless, here are some lessons I’ve learned along the way.

Kids grow up. Way too fast. I know that seems like a worn out cliché, but it is a truth that rings with 100% certainty. I look back now and it’s hard to believe that my little babies are both in school. I’m left wondering; How did this happen so fast? Just the other day, I was cuddling them while I fed them; rocking them to sleep with sweet lullabies and holding them close. Those oh-so-sweet moments passed by in the blink of an eye. And while I’m ready to move forward, I understand how critical it is to enjoy each stage, even the hard ones. 

Don’t take a single day for granted. Despite how it feels in the moment, like it’s dragging on forever, it all ends so quickly. Cherish the days you have with your little one. 

If you’re a new mom or soon to be, please remember this. Cuddle, hold, love on your child as often as you can—even if the sink is full of dirty dishes, the dust is inches thick, and your living room is a minefield of toys. Never mind. None of that matters, not in terms of eternity. What does matter is that your little one needs you. Hold them tight. It may be the most important thing you do all day. 

Here’s another piece of advice; don’t spend your time in regret or self-doubt. Of course you’re going to make mistakes. But that’s okay. You’ll learn from them. When my oldest was born it was a tough adjustment.  It was hard to have him at the center of my world. Up to this point, life had been all about me. Even now, I look back and wish I would have made the most of those first days. But I’ve learned from them and am intentional about spending time with my not-so-little ones now.  Don’t look back with regret, move forward and focus on what you have before you now. It will make you a better parent.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. Yea, I know another tired cliché but it’s so true. I sweated over so many problems; potty training, my daughter walking on her tip toes for over two years, my son’s junk food phase. I wondered and worried about all of it thinking these problems would never be resolved. And guess what. They were. Just like that. Even the most miserable experiences will be forgotten. Even now, I have times when I worry, but I’m learning to see each stage as a phase and trust that, eventually, things will get going in the right direction.

Last but not least, keep your eye on eternity. Remember that your children are a gift from God—entrusted to you—for however many days God gives you. Remember that God is their Father. He will take care of them, He will watch over them. Most importantly of all, He will help you to train them up in the way they should go. Remember the end goal; keep it always in mind. And when you feel lost in a mountain of laundry, or steeped in guilt because of a bad decision—feeling like you’re doing everything wrong, just keep at it. It will turn out right in the end. That’s God’s promise, not mine.

Proverbs 22:6

English Standard Version (ESV)

⁶ Train up a child in the way he should go;
    even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Follow the Leader

You know what I decided last night as I was watching my first grader play at a boy scout social? We have a problem in our society--an authority problem in that no one wants to follow the leader any more. Here’s why that authority thing hit me. The cub master was attempting to corral the scouts by numbering them off for game stations. There were probably twenty adults standing there watching him. And thinking I know it all, I whispered to my husband; “Why’s he doing it that way it’s not going to work.”

My husband’s response? “Just let the Cub Master do his thing; he’ll get it figured out.” Now, it’s probably important to tell you that my husband is in a management position and has been for ten years. He knows what it’s like to be at the top--that it is, indeed, lonely. No matter what you do there’s always going to be people who disagree with you, and consequently, don’t like you.  

I took his advice to heart. ‘Yea,’ I thought to myself, ‘this guy is the den master’ and I need to respect that. That little thought led me to this great title, Follow the Leader. When you stop and think about it, how many of us really do that anymore. Whether we’re talking about the president, a teacher, a mayor, or your boss, we all at times have a beef with people in authority positions. And, let’s be honest, it’s because we figure we can do it better.

Back to the scouting picnic. I was in charge of one of the games. While I was handling it the best I knew how, another parent came over and began to talk over me.  Maybe he didn’t like the way I was running the game. Maybe he thought his way was better. Or maybe, he was just trying to be helpful. Regardless, I thought to myself, ‘Look buddy, I volunteered to lead this game, if you think you could have done it better than why didn’t you volunteer?

Again, it got me to thinking about this issue of respect. When I was in grade school, a Christian School, we learned the Ten Commandments. Believe it or not there is a commandment regarding this very topic. It goes something like this, “Honor your father and mother that it may go well with you, and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” It was in that commandment that we learned it was important to honor not only our parents, but other people in positions of authority over us; teachers, police officers, teachers, governing bodies, teachers and, well, you get the gist.

 Romans 13:1 Submission to the Authorities

 

13 Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. (ESV)

Wow. That’s a pretty big statement, isn’t it? There is no authority except from God. Whether we agree with them or not, whether they’re doing a good job or not—God decides who will rise and who will fall. It’s His job to judge, not ours. 

So the question might be what do you do with a leader who is pure evil or may be running our society into the ground? You do what you should for any enemy of yours; you pray for them. 

Titus 3:1-2 Pray for All People

2 First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, ² for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. (ESV)

 

God spells it out pretty clearly in the above verses, ‘Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities. Even the ones we hate? Yes. 

God instituted authority. He wants us to pray for our leaders. Not bash them. Not seethe over every single thing they are doing wrong. But pray with faith, patience, and hope so we can live godly and peaceful lives. 

There you have it. Not so popular I know. But last time I checked we weren’t called to be popular, we were called to do the right thing--the unexpected thing; pray for our leaders and other authorities, and trust God to do the rest.

the eternal question

You know what I hate about the story of Job? How God chews Job out at the end of the book. After all, wasn't God the one who described Job as the finest man on earth-- a man of complete integrity; didn't God refer to him as one who had nothing to do with evil?  In the story, Job experiences unimaginable suffering, so that by the end you might expect God to be singing Job's praises--"Well done good and faithful servant" kind of praises. But He doesn't. I have to admit that, in the past, I've always  skimmed that part of the story jumping to the happily ever after. And I'm wondering if all along I haven't been missing the most important part. 

It’s the eternal question, isn’t it? If God is so good then why so much suffering? Why, especially, does it seem that His faithful followers are inflicted with all kinds of grief and pain. This question always seems to be hovering above my heart waiting to consume me with its fire of anger, resentment, and doubt about God’s goodness.

After all, who hasn’t wondered why God allows such suffering on the earth. For a nonbeliever the answer might come easier; God isn’t real, He doesn’t exist, or, if He does, He’s a fraud. But for the believer who trusts God, who follows God, suffering seems to be the antitheses of all that we believe God to be; gracious, merciful, loving. 

Today, for the first time in a long time, I remembered the night I was hospitalized in a state of severe psychosis. I remember the pain of waking up and realizing that all of my visions in the past several days--the ones I thought were from God had been nothing more than the twisted work of a devil—a devil who masquerades as an angel of light. I felt so vulnerable, scared, and unsure of what had gone on. My past seemed a fraud and my future loomed before me with so many unanswered questions. 

In the midst of all that pain, I was tempted more than at any other time in my life to turn my back on God—to have nothing more to do with Him. God was good, was He?  I had prayed. I had worked. I had been faithful. Was all of this just a cheap trick by some puppet master in heaven who, despite what I’d been taught, didn’t care about me at all? Worse yet, was He mocking me? 

Looking back, almost ten years later, I realized something else today, God's perspective, His eternal perspective is so much clearer than my own. In the midst of that thought something else occurred to me. The best person who ever lived, a person who was good to the core, who followed God unswervingly endured terrible suffering, too. Jesus. 

I'm sure there wasn't a single day that Jesus didn't experience some type of trouble. Yet, he followed God, he trusted God, he believed in God's goodness. So what was the outcome of his life? What did he receive as a reward for his faithful obedience? He died. On a cross. Alone. And the very God he called Father had forsaken him. 

Jesus felt the pain of it, the full pain of being left to wonder if God really is as good as He claims to be. And you know what? To the very end Jesus believed that, yes, his Father was good. Though he felt forsaken, Jesus entrusted his spirit to the One who could rescue him from death. 

If the best person who ever lived endured such unimaginable pain, is it too much for God to ask that I endure suffering with the same faith and hope that Jesus did? After all, look at what came out of Jesus’ life; out of his death. Our salvation. Something magnificent and beautiful grew out of the ashes of death—Jesus brought us back to God, back to our Father. 

Let me encourage you today to look at suffering with a little bit different perspective. See it not as a curse to be borne. Instead, praise God for what He will bring out of the ashes of your own suffering. Life. Eternal life—with a happily ever after we can’t even begin to imagine. All will be set right in the end. I believe that with all my heart. I hope you can find the faith to believe it, too.