tubthumping

Back in the day, when life was pretty tough there was a song that was popular that was sort of inspirational for me. “Tubthumping”, by chumbawamba. Recognize it? Just in case you don’t, I’ll give you a hint. It’s also known as the “I get knocked down” song. But when I took a look at the lyrics this morning, I had to laugh as I discovered that the song is really about a drunken splurge or fest. Doesn’t matter. The chorus was all I needed to hear. “I get knocked down but I get up again,” became my mantra through those difficult days. The truth is, I did feel as though I was getting “knocked down” on all sides as I’m sure many of you have felt before. How’s that saying go? Trouble always comes in threes, or when it rains it pours. They really seem true. But maybe there’s a reason for that.

As I’m typing this, I’m thinking of the story of Job. You know the guy. The man of complete integrity, blameless, one who feared God and stayed away from evil. God was proud of him. He loved him. So what did he do? Throw a royal reception for him? Bless him with gifts galore? Honor him before the world? Nope, none of the above. In fact, what happened next might completely blow your mind. God allowed the rug to be pulled out from beneath Job’s feet and he lost everything. Everything.  What’s so puzzling about this is that it seems so inconsistent with how God felt about Job.

Who convinces God to test Job, to allow horrible things to happen in his life? None other than the Accuser, Satan. Perhaps the most interesting detail about this story is what happens behind the curtain, in the throne room of God. The very first chapter of Job describes how the angels are presenting themselves before the Lord. And not one to be left out, Satan shows up, too. When God asks him what he’s been doing, Satan tells God that he’s been roaming throughout the world watching everything that is going on.

 What happens next is the golden part of this story, God has something to brag about – his servant, his son, Job. As God is boasting about Job, Satan is concocting a plan; one that will screw up Job’s world – turn it upside down. He asks God for permission to take everything away from Job. In fact, he almost taunts God with this challenge. “Take away everything [Job] has, and he will surely curse you to your face!” (Job 1:11)

So God allows the test, and Satan greedily and hungrily gets to work. The first item on his agenda is to take away Job’s livestock and farmhands. Next, come the sheep and shepherds. Then Job’s camels and servants. Last, but not least, Satan hits Job with a gut wrenching punch by killing all of his sons and daughters. And that’s not even the worst part. The real kicker is that all of this happens on the same day, within a matter of hours. After he’s received all of this news, Job does what God expected him to, what God hoped he would do. He humbles himself before the One who has given him everything. Rather than curse God, Job accepts this test. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away he says.

Still, Satan isn’t satisfied. As if he hasn’t already done enough, he arrives in the throne room of God with a new challenge. Strike Job physically, Satan sneers and, “he will surely curse you to your face” (Genesis 2:4). God allows it and Job is stricken with a terrible case of boils from head to toe. At this point, even Job’s wife tries to persuade him to curse God and die. But Job stands firm and in all of what occurs he maintains his integrity saying, “Shall we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?”

Seems that Job went through a lot, too much maybe. Maybe you feel this way – that God has dealt you one too many blows. You wouldn’t be the first person to think that, nor will you be the last. It is a tough world. Bad things happen. Bad things happen to good people. And it’s true in the case of Job. He was a good man; a man of complete integrity. So, why the attacks? Why did God allow Job to suffer so much?

Wish there was an easy answer to that question, but the truth is there’s not. But I think it’s important to remember a few things. God wasn’t displeased with Job. He wasn’t punishing him. He loved Job. He was proud of him. The next time you face a trial, a knock-down punch, remember Job. Take a peek behind the curtain of heaven and read once again this unfolding and fascinating story; the story of a man who lost everything. Think about how proud God was of him. Maybe God isn’t cursing you. Maybe He’s testing you. Maybe He’s proud of you too and wants to show you off, not only to the Accuser, but to the rest of the world as well.

2 Corinthians 4: 8-10 We are hard pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don’t give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going.  (NLT)

a simple cinquain

I wrote this four or five years ago when I was playing around with different types of poetry. It's pretty short which is a change for me, but there is a deeper meaning in there if you take time to read it. Hope that on some level it speaks to you about the changes in life and how they affect us. 

 

 

Gold Leaves

Crackling Brightly

Dancing in the sunshine

Gusts of wind

Playfully tease them

I laugh.

 

Gold Leaves

Perch precarious

Hanging by golden threads

A sharp stinging wind snaps them off

I shudder.

 

Gold Leaves

Fluttering down

Floating down around me

A parade of gold confetti

I smile.

 

Gold leaves

Shuffling along

Crunching beneath my toes

All their glory now is fading

I sigh. 

good cop, bad cop

You know what I’ve been thinking about for a while? Don’t you just love it when I start an entry that way? Lately, I’ve been contemplating the mysteries of God. Well, not really but I have been contemplating this -  why it’s so easy to think of God as the bad guy, the one who lives upstairs and is a merciless task master - the one who’s only out to catch us when we do bad stuff. In other words, why is it so easy to focus on the wrath of God rather than his amazing love?

I’ll cut to the chase here. I fully admit that while I know that God loves me, that he sent His Son to save me from myself, and even now makes his home in my heart, I don’t really get the love of God. For me it’s easier to focus on the laws. Let me give you an example. This is a long passage to write, let alone read, but bear with me, will ya, ‘cause I want to make a point here.

Isaiah 61:1 – 3 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and to provide for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of Praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

Whew! Thanks for hanging in there. My question for you is this. In this passage how many times is there any kind of reference to God’s judgment? Once. And how many times of his love and redemption? Nine. That’s nine times that God makes a promise to heal the brokenness of humanity and only once that the word judgment pops up. But you know what verse I seem to fixate on the most; the judgment one – the day of vengeance of our God. And I’m wondering, is it just me, or is fixating on God as the bad guy more of a human nature thing?

The thought occurs to me even as I type this that there’s a reason why it’s so easy to make God out to be the bad guy in this mess of life. It’s the lie that’s easiest to believe. The Liar (Satan) wants us to view God in that way. It makes his job a whole lot easier. If we don’t get his love for us then why would we ever want to draw near to him? Are we all missing out on the best that God has to offer – his love. Nine times up there in that long passage God affirms his love for humanity and only once is there a reference to his judgment.

But still what’s the point. Well, to be honest I’m not sure. But here’s a thought. God’s our Father - the one who made us. He’s our redeemer the one who saved us. And even now his Spirit dwells in us moving us ever closer to Him. Were we to view the bible from the lens of God’s love for us it would make a difference in our lives – a huge difference. Don’t believe me? I’ll close with another passage, and let you decide for yourself how important it is to really get God’s love for us. Of all the things the Apostle Paul could have prayed for his friends in Ephesus; stronger faith, more devotion to Christ, a fervent prayer life, a more generous spirit - of all those things, this is what he prayed.

Ephesians 3:14 – 18 I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his spirit . . . so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have the power . . . to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge.

It’s easy to make God out to be the bad guy. But it’s so important to know him as the God who’s for us – the one who loves us, the one who sacrificed his only Son to bring us back to himself. Stop focusing on the strict figurehead that we assume is God. Let your roots sink down deep into the soil of a marvelous love – the one God has for you.  

The Sun is Following Me

For the past week or so my daughter has been amazed and delighted by the fact that the sun is “following her”. At first I thought it was so cute and couldn’t help but smile at my amazingly, adorable daughter. Later on in the week I began to think about what she was saying and realized that my daughter could be a little philosopher. The sun is following her. Why, yes it is. And, come to think of it, the sun is following me, too.

I must confess something here. Sometimes I doubt. Yes, you read it correctly, I doubt. Lately, these doubts have centered around the idea of what eternity will be like. In the last year or so I’ve contemplated what it will be like to see God in heaven. After all, I’ll be only one of hundreds of thousands who may be entering the pearly gates on the exact same day, and possibly, well probably, some will be entering at the exact same time.

Sobering thought when those of us who are believers think about running to God’s throne and being greeted with the best bear hug ever. So, how exactly will that work? If there are thousands of us dying at the same time, how in the world are we all going to fit on his lap?

I’ve confessed before that I am no theologian. But, my tiny little theologian may be on to something. The sun follows her. Doesn’t matter who else it shines on, or even on how many billions of people it is shining on at the same moment. The sun shines on her. It follows her. It’s her sun. When I heard her make this comment for the third time in a week, it reminded me of a verse in Revelation.

Revelation 21:23 And the city has no need of sun or moon, for the glory of God illuminates the city, and the Lamb is its light.  (NLT)

I’ve heard this verse in the past and felt perplexed. What did it mean  when it said the Lord will be its sun? I always thought it meant that God is so radiant we won’t need any other lights in heaven. But the profound statement from my daughter made me think about it a little differently. Maybe being in heaven is a little like being in the sun. It doesn’t matter how many billions of people are there. For each one, God shines on them, and it doesn’t in any way make it less true that he's shining on others at the same time.

Do you get what I’m saying? I guess it could be looked at a little differently. Have you ever wondered how God dwells in each of our hearts at the same time? How can God’s Spirit live inside of me and the millions of others who call Christ, Savior and Lord? While I can’t explain it, I can testify to it. I know that God’s Spirit lives in me and just because he dwells in others hearts at the same time doesn’t take away from the fact that he loves me, he fills me, he follows me.

So maybe heaven is like that in a sense but on a more physical level. If God can dwell in our hearts spiritually speaking in this world who’s to say that he can’t do something like that in a more “physical” way in heaven. Somehow God being God, I have to believe that he has no limits. So, maybe I don’t understand what it will be like to arrive in heaven, nor how I’m going to get “my turn” to sit on God’s lap. Guess some things have to be accepted by faith. But my little girl taught me something this week. When it comes to the sun, and to God, all things are possible.

when your kid's the bully

Well, I found a worthy topic to write about for this week’s entry. Unfortunately, it’s one that, as a mother, causes me great pain. My kid, the bully. Never thought I’d have to say or write that. My kid, my sweet angelic boy, who looks me in the eye and melts my heart when he says, “I love you mommy.” Yea, that kid. What heartbreak I’m experiencing tonight. My kid was bullying, picking on someone because he could, and because he thought it was funny.

Earlier in the day, he, my daughter, and another friend were playing outside. I had asked them to stay in our yard. However, when I went to check on them a few minutes later, I saw them running down the sidewalk. Not thinking too much about it, I called them back and reminded them that they were to play in our yard only. A few moments later, I caught them running down the sidewalk again. But this time I noticed something else, a little boy further down the sidewalk was running away from my three. When I called this little guy over I asked if anything was wrong. Of course, my children told me that this boy was bugging them. Naturally, as a mom I like to believe that my children are telling the truth so I asked the little guy if he was doing anything to bother them. He replied no and walked away.

A few hours later, after we’d had supper, my son asked me to go on a bike ride with him. As we were riding around the neighborhood, the incident from that afternoon popped into my head. For some reason, I began asking questions about it. I had a sneaking suspicion that all wasn’t as it had seemed to be; that I hadn’t been told the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I won’t go into detail about what happened, but after my son shared the real story, it became all too apparent that he had bullied this other child. Not only that, but my daughter was laughing right along with them.

Bullying. We talk about it a lot these days. To the point that, in our household, we have zero tolerance for it. Our kids know that it is unacceptable to bully. As a child, my husband was picked on for his size, so he knows firsthand what it feels like. I, on the other hand, was the “cool kid” -  never in danger of being bullied. Well, cool not so much, but it didn’t hurt that I went to a Christian school. We were all pretty close and saw no need to pick on, oh, wait a minute. Yea, I forgot about that one - the kid in our school who dressed like Michael Jackson, silver glove and all. Yea, we made fun of him and even if I wasn’t the one taunting, I was just as bad, I was laughing. Other than that we were pretty good though, we really, oh wait, there was that other time. The time the token “fat kid” in the class fell off the stage at our spring production. Yea, we got a lot of laughs out of that one too.

I guess I don’t have to look too far when it comes to this issue of bullying. I can take a good long look in the mirror and realize that I’m as guilty as the rest. I’ve been there. I’ve done that. I’ve laughed at someone’s pain - at someone’s shame. I’m thinking about those times in my life when I’ve had the opportunity to stick up for someone who was being bullied and I didn’t. And as I write this, I’m tearing up because when I had to face this boy’s mother and tell her what had happened, I saw the sheen of tears in her eyes. She felt pain for her little one, and I felt heartache, because my son had caused this pain.

Tonight, both our kids have gone to bed early. They are being punished, and we’re hoping that from this point on they’ll remember that it’s not only wrong to bully someone else, it’s wrong to laugh at it, and do nothing to help the person who’s getting picked on.

I guess I’ll end with a bible verse because it seems to be the appropriate thing to do. When I looked through the bible however, the word bully was nowhere to be found. But I think one of the verses I did find applies pretty well to this or any other kind of bullying situation.  

Psalm 41:1 Blessed is the one who has regard for the weak; the Lord delivers him in times of trouble.

Enough said.

September 11, 2001

This was a piece I wrote shortly after the tragedy of 9/11. It came from my personal struggle with the age-old problem - why does a good God allow such things to happen? While I have no immediate answers to that, there are two verses that intrigue me when it comes to this question that seems to have no answer. 

Lamentations 3:32-33  Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.

 

9-11

By Nici S. Meyer

 

The unbelievable happens

The unshakable suddenly becomes shakable,

And we are left wondering, questioning,

Why, how,

How could this happen?

 

A nation mourns and

a people gather together

to sift throught the ashes,

To make sense of the madness

And to question once again,

Why and how

How could this happen?

 

In the midst of the rubble,

Remnants of memos and

faxes of the day’s business are buried.

 

In the places where important business

And international affairs

Were moments ago being carried out,

Important business is now

Reduced to dust and ashes .

 

Human lives are buried here now.

In light of this, faxes and memos

Don’t seem so important anymore.

And still a nation mourns asking

why and how

how could this happen?

 

We are left with wounded hearts

And crushed spirits.

We lift our eyes to the heavens, seeking answers,

Mourning the loss that echoes across

the centuries:

Loss of human life,

Loss of certainty,

Loss of peace,

Loss of Paradise and a world without evil.

 

For the first time in a long time,

We realize as a nation that we are not unshakable,

We are not immovable;

That we truly are frail and vulnerable,

Because we are human.

In that vulnerability, we ask

Why, how, how could this happen?

 

Who or what was the cause of this unspeakable act?

Could one being alone have masterminded,

Plotted and schemed

To bring about this destruction,

This terror, this evil?

 

Evil is not prejudiced.

It does not dwell in the hearts

Of only one people,

Nation, culture, or creed.

It dwells in the hearts of us all.

 

Our own hearts condemn us when

We turn our mourning and sorrow

Into an excuse for bitterness and

Build up walls of hatred,

Rather than learning how to love,

How to forgive.

 

Still, the age old question rings out.

How could God, allow this to happen?

where was He?

 

Our God is not a God of the past.

He is right here, right now.

 

Perhaps, could we climb to the highest heavens today,

We would stand with him in his Sanctuary

And witness tears of

Anguish rolling down his cheeks.

Tears of grief, tears of emotion,

Tears of a parent,

Mourning this fallen and sinful world,

In which evil sometimes

Appears to be the conquering hero.

 

But evil is not the conquering hero.

Our conquering hero is Jesus Christ, himself.

God’s Son, sent to suffer and

Die for the evil that has dwelt

In every single human heart,

Except his own.

 

His heart’s blood was

Spilled out for our own tainted blood.

He was the world’s original blood donor,

And by his wounds we are healed.

 

His resurrection assures us of our salvation and

HIS VICTORY

RINGS OUT ON EVEN

THE DARKEST OF DAYS,

IN EVEN THE DARKEST OF PLACES.

 

So we can set our questions,

Our anxieties, and even our fears aside

And we can say with assurance,

Death is swallowed up in victory.

O death, where is your victory.

O death, where is your sting?

Lord, could you move a little faster – pretty please?

Instill – to introduce by gradual instruction, to pour in slowly by drops.

Do you have a destination in mind? I mean is there a place in your life you want to be? A status you desire; mom, husband, girlfriend, fiancé, dad? Is there a happily ever after you haven’t attained and, for the life of you, you can’t figure out why. Well, I know it’s horribly overused, but yes, I’ll say it anyway – the grass isn’t always greener. Don’t you hate it when people tell you that? It’s okay. Go on and despise me if you will. I still have something to say, or rather, write.

My first experiences of longing for greener pastures came during my childhood. I don’t know about you, but for me growing up took way too long. I wanted to be just a little bit taller or faster. I wanted a boyfriend, wanted to drive a car. When would I ever be able to make my own decisions and gain access to the freedoms that grown-ups had?

When I was in college it was another desire that nearly drove me crazy. I was single. I wanted a boyfriend. Why couldn’t I date the person that I wanted when I wanted? Then at the ripe old age of twenty-two I decided it was time to meet my future husband. Did you catch that? I decided. It was time. So where was he, my husband-to-be? It hurt to be alone. I longed to have someone who would cheer me up or cuddle with me when I was sad. I wanted to be married, darn it, and God just wasn’t moving fast enough.

But right around the age of twenty-six – the age I thought I would be married by, something occurred to me. The startling revelation? I would never get the chance to be single again. Never. Ever. Why not enjoy it while it lasted? So I did, for the most part. Don’t get me wrong, I pined and whined at times for that special person to come into my life. But God was teaching me a valuable lesson even then – don’t wish your life away. After all, I lived in a beautiful home with four other women, and we were having a blast. The décor was mid 70’s right down to the green shag carpet and orange countertops. We didn’t care. It was our home – perfect for the five of us, and we were reveling in it.

Fast forward about three years when my future hubby came into my life. He was perfect for me – such a joy and blessing. I couldn’t have asked for better. What’s more, now that I’d gloried in my single years, I was ready to be married. I didn’t have regrets, didn’t experience any “what ifs”. God had brought the perfect guy into my life at the perfect time, and it was, well, perfect.

Two years later, little Jack entered into our lives. How easy it would have been to long for the late night feedings, and the crying, and the changing of diapers to be over. Done. Finito. But God in his wisdom had prepared me for these years, too. Once again, I realized something very important. My child would never be this age again. I would never get to cuddle him, or hold him, or play peek-a-boo with him like I could now. I was reminded that each day with him was priceless – a gift to be treasured.

Fast forward a few years later  - aaah the joys of potty training. Yea, I could have skipped right over that stage. But, hold on, was there a lesson that God was trying to teach me even then? Teaching me in a way that couldn’t be rushed. Did God have a plan for even potty training? Maybe. He cares about every detail of our lives after all. So yes, I suppose there were lessons to be learned even in the baptismal fires of potty-training.

Instill. Love the word.  Love it. It was a word that I stumbled across when I was a new college graduate. I think the reason I liked it so much was because it made sense to me. As a teacher, I longed to instill lessons in my students’ lives. And, as any good teacher will tell you, the lessons your students really grasp are the ones you teach them over and over again, drop by drop.

So why should God do anything less? The lessons he wants us to learn can only be instilled drop by drop. Yes, sometimes the process seems painstakingly slow, but we can trust the Lord, the one who is doing the instilling.

I want a God who will keep me growing in the right direction. I want to know that the lessons he’s teaching me will last even into eternity. Waiting is no fun. It’s hard - no getting around that. But, in the midst of the delay remember something – God is not punishing you, nor is he slow to act. He’s just a really good tutor.