Tranquility of Heart

Great tranquility of heart is his who cares for neither praise nor blame. ~ Thomas a` Kempis

Been thinking a lot about the above quote.  The idea that one can care for neither praise nor blame seems rather freeing.  Think I've mentioned this before, but I am such a people pleaser.  What people think of me, how they feel about me is entirely too important. 

For instance, with this blog, I've often worried about what others think when they're reading it.  Will they approve or think that what I've written is stupid?  It matters entirely too much.  I want so badly to be accepted - to be highly thought  of.  Wonder if I could get out from under this curse, the curse of people- pleasing, what life would be like for me. 

I must say, as I've grown older it's become much easier to resist the need to please.  But I don't think I've made it to the "tranquility of heart" thing yet.  When people tell me I've done a good job with something, my heart does sommersaults.  I'm so excited, feel so good about myself.  But, when someone seems disappointed, even angry, over something I've done, my stomach sinks to my knees.  Oh no, I've let someone down. 

Why do we put people up on pedestals anyway?  One thing I've discovered about the people I've ever placed up there, it hasn't taken long for them to topple off.  Not necessarily because they did something wrong, but, mostly, because they failed to live up to all of MY expectations.  Really isn't fair when I think about it.  I mean, who's perfect?   No one this side of heaven is. 

So one thing I've decided, I need to stop putting people up on a pedestal.  It isn't fair to them.  It isn't fair to me.  Only One really belongs up there, One who will never topple off.  So, I'll do everyone in my life a favor and keep them off  "the pedestal."  In the meanwhile, I'll strive to achieve that "tranquility of heart" that sounds oh-so-freeing.