Parenting 101

Before I had kids some friends of mine threw me a baby shower.  One of the "activities" they had my guests do was to give advice on raising kids. I received three invaluable pieces of advice that have stuck with me to this day.

My dear Aunt who is a very wise woman shared this with me;   Remember your child is a gift entrusted to you to train and nuture as only you can do!  Keep the end goal in mind when you're struggling with the day-to-day. 

Keeping the end goal in mind is the most difficult when you're stuck in the yucky, mucky mess of everyday life.  It's so easy to become shortsighted "seeing" only what's in the moment rather than taking a step back and realizing that there is, though it seems so far off, a finish line.  Not that we will ever stop being mom and dad.  But there WILL come a day when it will be time to push our little ones out of the nest. That's when what we have done from day to day will matter most.  It's as if these two little ones who have been given to us are empty vessels.  All the little moments of cuddling, loving, correcting, training, disciplining are being poured into them drop by drop.  My hope  is that we send them out into the world full - ready to serve, love, work and be "beacons of light" pointing the way to Jesus.

Another good friend shared this advice;  Where no oxen are the manger is clean, but much increase comes from the strength of the oxen.  Pretty wise stuff.  Since I am a clean freak, or at least was before two kids came into the picture, this was some wisdom that was much appreciated and needed.  There are days I wish the house was spotless;  days when I long to do anything but clean the kitchen one more time, fold another load of clothes, or vaccum the floor.  On the days when I'm tripping over toys I have to remember that parenting is messy, but it's a good messy.  A messy that has purpose.    Doubtless, my house would be spotless if I lived in my own little world.  But what would be the fun in that?  I would miss out on so much;  so much love, laughter, joy, and all the memories that go along with these.  Would I trade all this for a clean house?  Not a chance.

Some last advice?  One valuable thing you can show your child is humility - a willingness to admit fault and ask forgiveness.  Sounds strange to be apologizing to your child, but there have been times when I've blown up, only to feel serious regret over it.  This advice often comes to mind in situations like these.  I think it IS okay, even healthy, for my kids to know that grown-ups make mistakes, too.  What's more, I like the idea that they learn the value of forgivness.  When we say "sorry" to each other in our family, the expected response is, "I forgive you."  It's a great way to teach our kids that letting go of anger is as much for one's own benefit as for the other person's.

So, parenting advice 101.  You can take it or leave it.  In my own experience these three pieces of advice have been invaluable.  Hope you can find some wisdom in them too.