She stands at the door, small and fragile waving good-bye to me as I pull out of the driveway. So hard to leave her knowing that she is going to be alone again, completely alone. My throat tightens and tears well up in my eyes as I put the car into drive and wave at her one last time. Mom, I'm so sorry that I have to leave you again. You always put on such a brave front for me when I leave - telling me you'll be fine, and that you won't feel too lonely. But I know you better than that; I know that inside you're hurting as much as I do. I'm so glad for all the times we've had together, and I know they mean alot to you too. Someday we'll be in a place where we'll never have to say good-bye again. Til then, Mom, I love you, and see you soon.
Just some thoughts I had about leaving my mom the other day. I went up to spend time with her over the weekend. It was good because the kids stayed at home with my hubby, so we had some nice visits. (Nice visits never happen when you have a two and four-year-old screaming in the background.) Anyway, ever since my parents got divorced, it's been extremely hard for me to leave her after I've visited. She is a homebody, so I know there is a part of her that doesn't mind the alone time. But, I'm realistic and know that at times it must get awfully quiet around her house. When I got home and called to let her know I'd made it safely back, she kept thanking me over and over again for coming. Hard to believe that a short weekend like that meant so much to her. She would be the last person to want me to feel bad for her, but can't help it. She is my mom after all.
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