crazy honesty

Can I just say that I do not feel like writing today?  It's one of those "ball-and-chain" days.  Everytime I go to do something, I feel that weight of depression bringing me down.  Anyway, since I'm not that interested in writing today this post may be a total flop.  Oh well, such is life. 

On a side note I wanted to thank all of you for giving me so much encouragement.  It really means a lot to hear that what I've written has helped you, or given you courage, or reminded you that you are not alone.

Something I've been thinking about lately - I am terrible at being frank with a person even if they ask me to be totally honest.  I'm afraid that if I speak my mind, I'll hurt their feelings, or they won't like me anymore.  Sounds pretty junior high-ish, I know.  But it's a real problem for me; one that I wish I could overcome.  

Proverbs 27:6  Faithful are the wounds of a friend but an enemy multiplies kisses.  (NLT)

I love this proverb.  It reminds me that if I am truly going to be a good friend, then I need to be honest in my relationships.  Telling a friend what I think they want to hear doesn't do any good.  And, according to the above verse, it actually makes me an enemy.  After all, if a good friend was about ready to jump off a cliff, I'd stop them in a heartbeat.  Why is it so hard to be honest with them when they're figuratively "jumping of a cliff?"

Proverbs 27:17  As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.  (NIV)

According to the Bible, this is how a relationship is supposed to work.  Like iron sharpening iron, true friends should be there not only to encourage and love one another, but also to intervene when one of them seems to be heading down the wrong path.  If we go on pretending like everything is great, we're bound to be less than honest with the person we call "friend."  The few times I've been completely transparent with someone, I've found that our relationship becomes stronger, more authentic, more honest.

But I fall far short of this charge to be honest.  When you've been a people pleaser like I have for most of my life, changing your ways doesn't come easy.  But I truly want to get there, and I know that only God can sanctify me in this area of life.  I think if I stopped being afraid of hurting someone's feelings I might actually be able to do something good for them; not crushing their spirit, but gently pointing the way that I, as their friend, know they should go.