the promise in a double rainbow

Saw a double rainbow the other night.  Actually, the kids discovered it first and pointed it out to me.  I've always loved rainbows - the reminder that God keeps his promises.  John, for his part, is scared to death of them.  The reason being is that first time we saw a double one was the night that I went psychotic and had to be hospitalized. 

Personally, I think God was reminding me that he was with me and had a plan for my life.  I clung to that thought in the midst of some of the most awful moments of my life.  Here's a description of what happened when I was put in the Crisis Center that first night. There were two guys there who I talked to a few times.  One was pretty much still living in a dream state.  The older of the two was possibly the one person who kept me believing that God was good.  Here's a description from Pools of Blessing about what happened the day I was released from the Crisis Center. 

There were a handful of people in the Crisis Center with me.  I really don’t recall having too much contact with anyone, but I do remember two people in particular.  They were both older men who seemed to be as confused as I was.  One of the guys pulled out a Bible and started talking to me about the “code.”  He opened to a page that was a reference about numbers.  At that point I could have continued to sink deeper and deeper into my psychotic state, but, for some reason, right at that moment, I made a conscious decision to ignore him.  I think it was God’s Spirit pointing the way out of the state I was in. 

The other guy, a dear man, had an obvious connection with God.  He didn’t talk about any codes, he just sang hymns, and talked to me a little bit about his faith.  At this point, my faith was being sorely tested.  I was beginning to realize that all of the delusions I was having about God, faith, religion, were just that, delusions.  There was a part of me, maybe most of me, that was ready to give up on faith all together.  How could God allow this horrible thing to happen?  How could he use religion, my faith, against me?  So when I was leaving I asked this guy whose name I don’t even know, but whose face I will never forget, to sing “Rock of Ages,” for me.

        Rock of Ages, cleft for me,

        let me hide myself in thee;

        let the water and the blood,

        from thy wounded side which flowed,

        be of sin the double cure;

        save from wrath and make me pure.

There were tears streaming down my face as I left the Crisis Center that day.  The words from “Rock of Ages” followed me down that long corridor leading me to a future that was so uncertain, so scary because I had no idea what it held for me.  From that point on I made the decision to keep putting my faith in God, to keep trusting him, believing that even through this, he was going to be my “rock.”   As I began to get better, I clung to the words from that hymn.  “Rock of Ages cleft for me.  Let me hide myself in Thee.”